et cetera

And I wish you well…

2012-01-26T01:14:00.001+08:00

One day we will stop fighting for it, and when we do, I wish you well. I wish you all the best in life, all the best in every thing you do. And if you ever think of me, remember that I am thinking of you too. I guess, then, we’ve tried our best (or at least, we think so), and either one of us have probably found someone else.

Braced myself for the goodbye.

This is the Lemon

2011-11-15T05:58:00.001+08:00

Live as the day goes by. Don’t worry about the future. Don’t live in the past. Yes, yes, I’ve always been saying that. Today, I am worrying about the future. And so was I, the few other days even for a few months now... Days are getting shorter and quicker then it’ll be gone before I know it. It still hasn’t fully sunk into me yet. It should already be. But I guess not, yet. It’s hard on me, really. This is going to be harder than I thought it would ever be. Expectedly unexpected. Tears don’t seem to make me feel any better. Neither does sleep. And I wouldn’t want to try eating. I guess this is one of the lemons that life throws at me.

I just really need to get my brain to accept things and people will come, and so will they go. Some leave never to be heard or found again, some remain close at heart, some will always try no matter the distance. I wish I could proudly say, “Distance is just a number”. No, it isn’t. Well, at least not yet for me. But…for now, no. I know it’s going to be hard, I knew it from the very start. But I am already on the boat, no turning back. And so, I should just keep the oars and go where the waves bring us to, and when situations require, the oars will be used.

POSITIVE THINKING : This is the lemon that I will make my lemonade with. We’ll work it out somehow.

***

It’s 5 o’clock in the morning and I, of course should be in bed. But why am I here? This morning, is frustrating. I really dislike unfinished conversations, knowing that I have much to say, but I barely spoke half of my thoughts. I really hate it. It keeps me awake, all night. Like tonight ~~(or to-morning)~~. It makes me feel, small and unimportant, like a grain of sand in the desert or a drop of water in the sea. But why do people have the habit of avoiding things they don’t want to talk about? Why not just, get it over and done with then, you won’t have to live in fear that it may be brought up in the near future? Avoiding a problem and solving a problem are two very different things, and I thought everyone already knew that by now. :( It just sucks; the feeling.

Stay

2011-10-27T14:12:00.001+08:00

I’m sorry your love didn’t last.

Been a month since I last posted, eh? Yea. Tiring month. Had a lot of thinking going on recently, like if things are what they seem to be, or if it’s worth it, or am I doing things right. But you know, we can’t decide too early sometimes, and most of the time, we shouldn’t even decide if it’s worth it or if it’s right, things like that are just not up to us to decide sometimes cause we never know what’s the future like. “Is the world REALLY going to end?” “Am I going to be a good parent?” “Is this sum of money enough to last me til the end?” “Is this the person I’m going to grow old with?” And the list goes on. Don’t worry about the future, don’t live in the past. Live now, and only now. Yes, yes!, easy to say. Haha. I definitely don’t live in the past (not as much at least) but I have to admit, I worry too much about the future sometimes. :)

***

Now playing, Good Charlotte’s The Truth.
“I want the truth from you,
Give me the truth, even if it hurts me.”
The truth definitely is going to hurt sometimes, but again, I’d rather be hurt with the truth than to live a life wondering what is the truth.

***

I will never understand how some people can say, “I’ll come back once I’m done with her”, go to the other girl and say, “I’ve made up my mind, I’ll never leave you.” Will someone please, just please enlighten me? I’m curious, I just want to understand. I am still a little confused with this matter.

***

Just a song I’d like to share.

“I've given you my best, why does she get the best of you?”

This song is about a girl who is a third party in a marriage. He keeps telling her that there will come a time where he will leave his spouse and forever be with her. But she doubts his words. She is tired of being lied to, being alone, being used and waiting to see him again. She basically just wants him to make a decision. So here it is! Stay by Sugarland. Click here for the lyrics.

“It's too much pain to have to bear to love a man you have to share.” I ‘m sure it hurts.

By the way, although I really dislikehatedespise the idea of cheating, or an unfaithful relationship but this song absolutely makes me sad. You know how the idea of “the other party” is always wrong? Yea. Well, sometimes, it isn’t, the guy didn’t have to lie to her… And keep telling her he’ll leave his wife. He didn’t need to give her hope. He could’ve just ended the relationship or leave his wife. We can’t always get the best of both worlds. And we obviously won’t want to share the things we love, what more the person we love.

Slow Down

2011-09-25T18:54:00.001+08:00

Trust has been a big problem for me since a young age, I have to admit that. It’s really hard for me to trust someone, wait, not just someone, it’s almost everyone and just about anything at all. I build up these walls of insecurities and pain, shut everyone out, and it’s just me in the little world of my own. Always down, always doubting other people. And all these were just, well, the things that I do, used to do I hope.

Case 1 : I meet someone nice, the mind says “No! Don’t trust this person!” then there I go, think, think, think, and I shut that person out of my life, forever.
Case 2 : I meet someone nice, really nice, I screw up, and shut that person out.
Case 3 : I meet an idiot. Case closed.

This whole shoo-ing people away is tiring, you know, like, why try so hard to push people away when they can be your friends? Make sense?

I’m definitely not trying to say that I don’t do this anymore though. Am trying not to, at least. But I am can certainly see a change, in me, slowly. :) I am proud of it, and I’m happier. I feel more comfortable and free. But of course trust needs to be earned in most case. It sucks when someone misuses that trust. :)

***

So here’s a review on my weekend. It was great! Why? Cause I was happy…am happy. :) Quality time spent and did some revision. Almost exactly how I want my weekends to be like. And it has been a very long time since I’ve spent a weekend like that…like it actually felt like a weekend. I have found in me, a new me. And I have found answers to some of my questions. I realised that no matter decisions are made from the Heart or Mind, they are still decisions in the end, and we all have to accept the result of the decisions as they come, no matter what they are cause we made them, by choice, and willingness. And now, I am just living life as it comes, day by day. Everyday, life changes, everyday, we change a little. Thinking too much about the future isn’t too good; we can’t predict it, living in the past is a burden; we can’t change it, so just relax, don’t regret. :)

***

And well, I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused, I never wanted anyone to feel this way, and although we were never actual friends, I just want to say that I am truly sorry in a way that you will never understand or believe that I am even sorry. If I could rewind time, I would undo it all from scratch, then you will be happy all over again. No heartbreak, no loss. Just love. It all just happened so quick I didn’t even have time to catch a breath while it was happening. So here I am, putting away my ego, I am sorry, I really am.

We all have doubts, sometimes, as doubts come, we need someone to reassure us that it’s all going to be okay. So yeah, I’m going to reassure myself here and now, “It’s all going to be okay in the end, if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

So Love, what are you actually? Tell me? Please, Love?

A House I Call Home

2011-09-06T19:31:00.001+08:00

I want to wake up to a house I call home - waking up to the sounds of birds chirping and the sun shining upon my face, nice warm shower, laughter, breakfast with the family.

I want to live in a house I call home – small but enough for everyone, away from pollution and congestion, small town, cozy, loved.

I want to come back to a house I call home – smiles, a nice freshly cooked dinner, everyone eating and joking at the dining table, then probably some dessert while watching TV. I want to feel welcomed.

I want to live with people I call family – able to talk about things freely without hard feelings, road trips, share our day at the end of it, occasional surprises, no empty promises, no lies. Just happy.

***

I hate it when I’m sitting in someone’s car and they’re driving like they’re rushing somewhere when they’re not, tailgating every-single-freaking-car, the car jerking like there’s no tomorrow (accelerate, brake, accelerate, brake…), cursing every other car. Like hello? CHILL LA. Driving should be calm. And relaxed. Seriously. And it gives me a headache. Literally. Pfft. Whole day headache today.

***

I want to move out. You promised me. And you know how much I dislike driving. I don’t want to spend two to three hours everyday, travelling time. You’re afraid that I will go out every single night? Yea, you probably should, cause I am such a night person, I don’t need sleep for class the next day. Like, hello? If I wanted to be “wild” or whatever you call it, I would’ve been that ever since forever, literally. You, of all people, should know better, I’m over that phase. But I guess you don’t know that too, cause you never know what I want, ever since I was a kid. I want things you don’t want to give me. I want to be free, like a bird. I don’t want to wake up or come back everyday to the house and have uber loud TV sounds in the living room that are so distracting, noisy mah jongg sessions, long faces, meal-less days, small empty talks, rude and hurtful conversations, or the fact that I can’t say what I feel because of this thing we call “respect”. I want to be free from it. And I know if I don’t leave, I will regret later in life that I never left.

***

By the way, how’s the now header and background? :) Leave a comment, maybe? Loves.

Brains Don’t Fall in Love, Hearts Do.

2011-09-03T10:08:00.000+08:00

Falling in love is ~~as easy as~~ easier than ABC, is it not?

Think about it, how many times have you fallen in love on purpose?

Can you make someone who doesn’t want to love you, love you? Can you make someone who doesn’t want to be in a relationship, commit into one? No. None of us can. None of us can do that if the other party doesn’t want to. If you said yes, it’s because the other party accepted it, whether consciously or subconsciously.

We can’t make someone love us when they don’t want to. We can’t change someone’s mind if they don’t want to. We can’t pick who we want to fall in love with. Brains don’t fall in love, hearts do. So, if you chose to love someone by choice in the reign of your mind, is it still love? Wait, what exactly IS love? Affection? Attraction? Is it explainable in mere words? Love is absolutely ineffable. The meaning of love varies from one person to another, and that would be it, love is different to everyone, so how can it be explained in words? How would you describe it so that another person absolutely understands and feels exactly how you feel? And if they do feel exactly what you describe, how would you know if what they felt was what you once felt? I don’t know either. :/

It’s so easy to fall in love. And if we don’t cherish and work of the love we call, love, falling out of it is easy too.

***

We all know that we should never punish anyone in the present (or future) for someone else’s mistakes in the past. But how much of that do we actually practice? Thing is, many of us (including me, of course) don’t. We say “Forgive and forget”, but do we? Well, my case, I forgive, but I don’t forget all the time. I think we should forget some things, don’t let things haunt us. Everything should start anew, not based on experiences of the past. I’m not saying that we should forget every single thing, or that the past is not important, it is. In fact it is oh-so-very-important. It’s just that, the past should be a guide, not a reference. You can’t look at someone in your life now with the filter in your head or the built up walls that block them out or even pressure them to be the total opposite of that might-have-been jerk(s) because of a mistake(s) someone in the past has done. It’s just not fair. At. All. Comparing would be the last thing anyone should ever do (although we do, all of us).

Recently, I’ve made some what I call the Mind decisions, and less Heart decisions. I hate making Mind decisions, but this time around, I did. A lot has changed in my life recently, and for as long as I have lived this life change isn’t something I absolutely fancy. I guess I’m learning to accept and embrace it (changes) one small step at a time.

***

I’m glad I (will?) have you through the good and the bad.
Don’t ask me why, I just know.

“Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.” William Shakespeare

Random Fact : William Shakespeare’s wife’s name was Anne Hathaway.

That’s When I Love You

2011-08-24T20:44:00.001+08:00

…always.

Sleep
Usually : 1.00 a.m.
Today : 2.30 a.m.

Open my eyes
Usually : 7.45 a.m.
Today : 7.00a.m.

Drink
Usually : 1 cup of hot tea, lots of water
Today : Half cup of ~~disgusting~~ coffee, 2 cans of ice lemon tea from the vending machine, 1 glass of honey lemon, some water

Mood after college
Usually : Sleep
Today : Homework FTW! :DD

Yea. Lack of sleep.

***

Lowlight of my day : I broke my slippers.

Highlight of my day : ~~Although I don’t LOVE them as much as my old pair…~~ I got a new pair!

Well, thank you, Eric!

***

Now playing, Aslyn’s That’s When I Love You.
”Cause here's my promise made tonight,
You can count on me for life.”

Think Less, Write More.

2011-08-21T21:45:00.001+08:00

For the first time in many, many years, I picked up a pen and had no clue of what to write for a mini assignment. Usual case is, I pick up the pen and had no end to write what I had in mind. This time around, I couldn’t pen my words down. It’s like, I felt what I felt, did what I did and never thought much about it. I never really did analysed how it happened, or why it happened the way it happened.

Writing was never much of a problem for me, til today. I thought I had so much to write when lecturer gave us the task, then when I held the pen today, the thoughts and words just…vanished. I just feel it, that’s it. Google-ing “What to write about boyfriend for assignment?” would be just…~~the right thing to do~~ wrong in so many ways.

I know the “inspiration” will come to me soon enough. Maybe later tonight. :) POSITIVE THINKING and INNER PEACE. :D

***

I’m pretty excited for Raya holidays. Random thought.

***

I’m enjoying all my classes so far. Especially 2D illustration (except for the car part…shhh!). Audio Tech lessons require more…attention…yes, I have a very short attention span…and by short, I mean VERY short. My little solution is to read his notes before going to class, then in class, I’ll like…write messy notes ~~and maybe Facebook a little which helps, I’m not joking, but you probably won’t believe me~~. There’s also Visual Communication class. Yea. I think the lecturer has this little something against me…but…it’s ok. I still enjoy his classes as much. :))

***

Oh. And Taylor Swift, you sang “Cause when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you’re gonna believe them.” …I still do. And so does many, many, many, many other people out there. :))

Too Good to be True

2011-08-20T17:44:00.001+08:00

Remember how sometimes you think that something is true, but it’s not? What I mean precisely is about how you feel…about something that you thought you were feeling but you weren’t feeling it. Like, your mind misinterpreted it…or probably, your heart lied. Yeah.

Everything is great - I have awesome new friends, nice college, almost enough sleep everyday (although still not enough…but I’m working on it! Hehe.), tea in the morning, etc., I’d say it’s been an almost flawless week for me. But it’s almost like everything falls back together at the wrong time, like all these are way too good to be true, for now. I know, I know, I know I should be happy about it but, it all feels so wrong.

Not to say I’m not grateful or thankful for all these great things that are happening to me or around me, I am, I really am thankful for it. But I never had imagined that everything that is so would happen to me now, like, all at the same time. I’ve always imagined that life is all good only in the end, probably when I retire or something, after all that hard work with blood shed, lost friends, broken hearts, tears cried, lalala, it will finally be all perfect. Maybe what I should put it as is that I don’t deserve it. :) But I am definitely thankful for it.

Then again, they always say all good things come to an end right? No one looks forward to negativity in life, definitely, but we also have to realise that life isn’t perfect all the time. All we can do is cherish every great moment of it, capture those special moments in your mind, keep a picture of loved ones close to your heart, remember those heart melting words once said, write them happy days down in a journal and tell the ones who have a special place in your heart how you feel about them. We don’t know when is our last day on this very earth. We don’t know what will happen tomorrow, or days to come, but each second that passes by, we cannot rewind them to relive it…well, at least until a time machine is invented.

One thing I try to live by is to live for the moment. I’d rather do the wrong things today that makes me smile than to do the right things and makes me unhappy. After all, the things that make you regret most of the time are the things you didn’t do…well, at least for me. :) Happiness is important.

A big thank you to the people who has made my week a great one. :)

Now playing, Jason Mraz featuring Colbie Caillat – Lucky.
“They don't know how long it takes waiting for a love like this,
Every time we say goodbye I wish we had one more kiss.”

When I’m Finally Gone

2011-08-17T08:56:00.001+08:00

You tell the whole world how I may have hurt you. You tell the world how painful it is. You tell the world to sympathize you. You tell the world how you thought I lied or cheated. Go ahead and do that. Oh wait a minute, haven’t you done that?

I don’t need the world to know how painful it is when you hurt me, or how painful it is, to sympathize me and how you attempted to do things I have never and would not have done…not only with you, but for life. Why? Cause my friends, although not many, and family knows, that is the most important. Why do I care about what other people who don’t matter think about me? If they don’t know me, they aren’t my friends.

Empty promises, over and over and over again. People get tired of shit. I am no exception. Talking about how you would’ve changed things? I’ve heard that one too many times, dude. Telling me how you planned things? You’ve said those and done nothing about it. Piece of advice, “Don’t say what you’re about to do, do what you’re about to say.” Reminding me of the promises we made back then? Yea, I don’t mean to break them, I’m sorry. But we both know it goes nowhere. Trying to finally be nice? You should’ve tried that long ago. I even lost count of the number of times you lied to me, in my face. Telling everyone how it should’ve been you? Yea. It COULD’VE BEEN, but I’m not regretting that I left.

You could’ve done so many things back then, than wishing that I gave you another chance right at this moment. Every time I actually do give you a chance, you blow it…repeatedly, same damn thing. And now that someone else gets the chance to, you regret, and tell people I cheated on you, my friends and family (again) will know how I never ever ever will cheat…yea, and guess who’s paranoid now? So much for calling me paranoid. Thinking about how I would’ve never leave you? Think harder.

One more piece of advice, don’t ever treat the next girl like how you’ve treated me. Ever.

Okay, I’m done ranting about this. Just needed to get some things off my chest before going out to have a good day today. Sorry for putting you through that torturous little speech. But you know, thank you for reading it. IT’S GONNA BA A GREAT DAY! You have an awesome day too, kay?

Brain-xausted

2011-08-16T00:09:00.001+08:00

Went to bed at about 3 a.m. got up at about 6.30 a.m.. Best thing about that was that I couldn’t go back to sleep or get out of bed. And it was my first day of college. Yea. BUT I enjoyed myself although I am absolutely brain-xausted (brain exhausted).

Had McD for breakkie. 1st lecture was Media Tech, lecturer’s funny though…yea. He is. It felt like a Physics lesson back in high school though…frequency, wavelength, amplitude, etc. but more fun. Yes, I forgot to mention, I made some friends…and I can remember their names better now (Yay to that!). Had break, then had 2D illustration class. OMG. I love hate it. Why? I love it cause, well, I like to draw and for now, I could draw everything (except one…). I hate it cause, you see, the thing is, I dislike drawing from specific perspectives and also, I dislike drawing cars. Yea. We were required to draw a ‘51 Ford.

I had a rip off lunch today. D: Spent RM18 just on lunch itself. At. Pappa. Rich. Can’t spend like that everyday man. It’s gonna squeeze every cent out of me.

Tired. Going to go to bed. Soon. I have still yet to draw the car. Heh. I’ll just do it on Wednesday since it’s a public holiday. Yes. That. Is. What. I’m. Going. To. Do.

Now playing, Rihanna’s California King Bed.
“So confused wanna ask you if you love me,
But I don’t wanna seem so weak.”

Looking forward to Visual Communication tomorrow. )

Optimism is Key

2011-08-14T20:06:00.001+08:00

Last Friday, I went for orientation at college, met some people…yes, I still can’t remember all their names. There’s a Nicholas, a Caroline…and yeah, I should give up. There might be something I want to tell you about my class though. Eleven people in total. 9 guys. 2 girls. Yea. At least I’m not the only girl. Be happy, Abbs!

Got a list of things I have to bring for the first 2D class. :))
Art Eraser
Soft Pastels
Colour Pencils
Sketch Book
Pencils of Different Shades(?)
Charcoal Pencil (One black and one white)
I don’t know why I listed them down.

After orientation, went to Sunway Pyramid, and basically spent the whole afternoon there. Looked for the stuff on the list at Popular. Then I got the pencils (RM1.50 each, I bought 6), couldn’t find the rest. So I went next door, Faber-Castell, got my Art Eraser then noticed that the same I bought at Popular are selling for RM1.20. I was like –.-“. Yea. Watched Horrible Bosses…cut scenes aren’t cool yo! Pfft. Oh well, good company compensates, right?

Today, I found my set of colour pencils. Although, missing one colour, I guess, it doesn’t really matter right? So I went Popular at Ikano to get the rest of the stuff. And YAY! :D I got ‘em all! Except for one, the white charcoal pencil. No store seems to have them…maybe cause charcoal is black? I don’t know. So, I even got a bigger pencil case. I even wanted to get the one with Winnie the Pooh on it, but mummy STARED AT ME. Yea. I’m such a little kid.

Hehe. Now, I need to pack for tomorrow…sort of. And pick what to wear…yes, that’s very important. I mean, I just usually slip on something comfortable (tee, shorts, slippers) and go, but I don’t want to be underdressed or overdressed tomorrow, plus it’s cold… Can’t make up my mind.

Kinda nervous. :/ But it’s okay, it’s all gonna be good. Positive thinking. :) WISH ME LUCK!

Sometimes, some things happen so quick, you don’t even realise it’s happening. Other times, you realise it, but you just don’t think about it much and when the time comes when you have to make a decision, you don’t know what to do. I guess Heart takes the lead again, eh? Mind, you’re losing out.

So, What Now?

2011-08-11T10:59:00.001+08:00

…you tell me.

Many times in life, we often face obstacles and problems. Some, we solve them easily, some, we take some time figuring out what to do. But for my case, I know what to do, I just, don’t want to do it.

***

I have had a great time with you. Whether things move forward or stay right where they are, or anything else, I wish that you had a great time too, whether it’s a few years, months or for now, just a few weeks or even days. The thing about time is that, it always runs out. “i lu bu”

Posted this on Facebook a couple of days back,
“Some people are meant to fall in love with each other, but not meant to be together.” (500) Days of Summer.
I cannot agree more. :)

Sorry

2011-08-09T17:22:00.001+08:00

Doing the right thing at the right time is one thing. Doing the right thing at the right time to the right person is a whole different story. And boy, what you’re doing is at the wrong time to the wrong person.

A gazillion text messages all come to one same point. But no, baby, I’m done. If you would’ve realised what you realise now months ago, then yes, I would’ve melted, fall right into your arms and stay right there til dawn. But it’s all too late, it’s really too late to say you’re sorry. I don’t hate you, really. If you love me, let me go. Please.

Don’t waste your time, I’ve moved on.

I’m sorry for the night in the rain.
I’m sorry for the nights in pain.
I’m sorry for the tears you cried.
I’m sorry for the lonely nights.

I’m sorry things didn’t work out between us, I really am. But that’s not the end of our lives. I wouldn’t deny that love plays a big role in everyone’s daily lives, but there’s more to life than just love. Just want to wish you well in all the things you do, and I hope that you won’t look back and regret in whatever you do in life. Look forward to what life has to offer, open your mind to new things, new people, new ideas, just new things. You’re a great person, you can do great things. :)

You’re My Sunshine After the Rain

2011-08-07T20:45:00.001+08:00

Sweaty, sticky and smelly. BUT. Finally got my lazy butt up to go bathe.

Hmmm. Just got back from home (Ipoh, for those of you who do not know) about well, three hours ago(?). Yeah, something like that. Except that I was really sleepy for the 2 days there, I enjoyed myself. :)) I love being there, it gets my mind off things. Food there is good as always. Had 3 days of soy in a row. But WHO CARES? It’s damn good. *whispers* And I mean DAMNN GOOODD! Two days of tau fu fa (soy bean custard, I think?) and soy milk! Well, not to forget the soy ice-cream I had the other day! :D Steamboat was *thumbs up*. Steamboat was awesome. Steamboat was great. Steamboat was…ok, I should stop. Then the egg tart, OMG, still as great as ever. I wish I had pictures though. :(

Looking forward to more trips there. :)Came home, put down my stuff and immediately decided to go for a jog. And so I went. Yes, been a long time since I ~~voluntarily~~ went for a jog like that. My favourite Indian guy was at the park cycling. :D BTW, no racism intended. He just happens to be a different race. So anyways, his parents were STARING at me like I was some…alien. Pfft. And NO, it wasn’t my dressing. It was totally appropriate. Oh well. I was walking, jogging, and walking, jogging, walking, jogging, walking then, my back decided to unfriend the rest of my body and started to ache. So. I. Had. To. Walk. Back. Couldn’t take the pain. It’s like at a whole new level now.

Oh well, gotta live with it I guess.

Of Rising Apes and Hangovers

2011-08-05T20:22:00.001+08:00

So. I came home at 7.30 p.m. and I suddenly realised that I haven’t packed for Ipoh. And will be leaving at 9. Haha.

My day, watched Apes today (Oh, you know!, The Rise of the Planet of the Apes?), yeah. I didn’t fancy it that much though. Then later on I watched Hangover II, yeah, that was pretty awesome. No matter how bad or good the movie was, sometimes, it’s the company that matters, right? Haha. And you, thank you for ice-cream. ;)

Guess what? It’s 8.22 p.m. now and I still have not packed. Hehehe. Kudos to me? Ok. Maybe I should go now? I still have some time to pack and have dinner…right? Wish I could write more though.

Hmmm… Okay. I had a great day!

Time to pack! Let’s go!!

Fever…

2011-08-05T00:47:00.001+08:00

…Bieber Fever.

I hate how every time I think I’ve recovered from Bieber Fever, I get struck by it again, like the love bug. Now, I’m just really listening to Bieber, okay, maybe not all day, but more than I should be. ;)

Sounds ridiculous but I’ve been having the best and worst few days ever. Yes, 2 in 1.
But you know, people change and hearts move on.
Some things we tolerate in life, we tolerate and tolerate and tolerate. Most of the time, those things will never hit the boiling point though. But sometimes, some things do. And once that thing hits the boiling point, that’s it. I’m sorry to day this, but once it hits that boiling point, I’m a cold-hearted bitch.
But, I shouldn’t be babbling about that anyways, cause I’ve enjoyed my few days with my awesome friends, whether directly or indirectly.

Now playing, Chris Brown ft. Justin Bieber – Next to You. <3
“You’ve got that smile, that only heaven can make,
I pray to God everyday, that you keep that smile.”

And Matt, if you’re reading this, french toast was AWESOME. Although, I admit, it would be nicer with white bread instead of wholemeal. :) Sugar overdose!

Okay. Thank you for reading. Hehehe.
Loves.

29th July

2011-07-30T16:31:00.001+08:00

29th July 2006, beautiful Saturday morning.
You’re just a fond memory. :)

29th July 2007, sad.

29th July 2010, best few months of my life.
Would never forget those moments.

29th July 2011, safety belts probably saved a fracture or well, my life.
Wonderful day, well-spent, tired. When the car spun 360 twice, all I could think of was lots of blood and shattered glass, hoping he’d be alright. Thank God, no one was injured. Yes, no blood and no shattered glass. Just three thankful nervous people…or at least I am, right? Haha. I still remember how it feels. Just like a really dangerous tea-cup ride (you know, the one in the theme park!).

***

I never wanted this, never want to see you hurt. But there’s nothing we could say that’s gonna save us. I feel like I just lost a friend, a dear friend. And I hope you know it’s not easy for me.

Day 14 — Someone You’ve Drifted Away From

2011-07-28T19:56:00.001+08:00

Too many people to be honest. I never really exactly keep in touch with people whom I don’t exactly fancy. Well, you know what I mean lah. Right? Haha. So this topic isn’t really something I fancy writing about. Not that I regret anything, I just, never remember. As I have always said, I’d rather have a few great friends who matter than to have countless number that I’m not very close to. :)

***

I know I shouldn’t have gotten near to any part of it. I’ve done something stupid. Now, I’ve fallen and I can’t get back up. I need to withdraw myself from this cause it just ain’t right. I know it isn’t. If you knew, you’d never say it’s right either. Abigail, self-control. If there’s no line, DRAW ONE.

Talked to a friend about it, he thinks it’s wrong too. I mean, this kinda thing can never be right. NO. I have to STOP. Don’t do to others what you don’t want them to do to you. Focus on something else, like…..BEN! Yes, Ben! Okay. Good.

***

I really need to go back to Ipoh. This may be weird for many of you to hear this but it’s like I’m home-sick. :(

Random confession : I have a thing for pianists and/or architects.

Day 13 — Someone You Wish Could Forgive You

2011-07-28T00:48:00.002+08:00

You know how we all feel like we shouldn’t talk to that someone cause they’re going away, far far away. But yet you can’t help it. You know how we all know that we shouldn’t love that someone cause they are in a relationship. But yet you can’t stand it. You know how we all know that posting this would kill a whole great friendship. But you know, I just can’t resist.

Well, I hope she could forgive me.

This is My Temporary Home

2011-07-23T21:12:00.001+08:00

3-4 hours of travelling time, 7 hours of lecture, 1 hour of break…every weekday. Hopefully I can get out of here – this ‘tree house’. Save some time on travelling. Yeah, that was about college.

You probably already know it, or could’ve guessed it. I finally enrolled for college today. It’s my pick, my choice. And I know life’s gonna change. And there’re things that we decide along the way that may not a happy thing, but we know it’s for the best. I’m honestly not prepared for so many changes, but that is life, and although change is the only constant thing in life, we’re NEVER prepared for changes, no matter how prepared we think we are.

Some things we can choose, some things we can never change. Like how we can pick friends, but never family members.

Now playing, Carrie Underwood’s Temporary Home. I want to leave. Really.

"This is my temporary home, it's not where I belong,
Windows and rooms that I'm passing through,
This is just a stop on the way to where I'm going,
I'm not afraid because I know this is my temporary home."

Who Am I Meant to Be?

2011-06-24T14:55:00.001+08:00

Took a test on “Who Am I Meant to Be?” on oprah.com. A friend linked it on Facebook, saw it, had nothing to do. SO yeah! Here it is, the results. Okay… So my three dominant “traits” are to be CREATIVE, S.pO,N.TaNEouS and KNOWLEDGEABLE.

One thing I can say is that this quiz thing, is that it is true.
This strive to be creative thing, yes. I look at the world, in a different way, as compared to majority. And the alienated feeling applies when people refuse to accept what I say or do. There is no right or wrong in most things, when I say something or express something in a different way, I don’t expect people to say…”WOW!” or “GOOD JOB, Abi!”, I don’t expect people to do it like how I do, I don’t expect people to say I’m right, people just need to understand that I have a way of doing things. Not to say that how they do it is wrong, I just like to do it The Abigail Way.

Then the strive to be spontaneous, okay. If you know me, I don’t have to explain much. I AM spontaneous, and for many of my friends, I am probably one of the most spontaneous person they’ve met yet. Felt like going to Singapore one day, made a call at 1.30 p.m., bought a ticket, went home, packed, got on the bus at 3 p.m.. Many of my friends cannot accept change, like…EVERYTHING MUST GO AS PLANNED. And well, yes, I have to do that everythingmustgoasplanned thing sometimes too. Except for the fact that it doesn’t really go as planned. Haha.

Okay, enough of my grandmother stories, below are the results which of course, you can but don’t have to read. And you can take the quiz at oprah.com. Click on the link, take the quiz and TA-DA!, your results.

YOU ARE STRIVING TO BE CREATIVE
You scored: 19

You are an artist: You came out of the womb with a paintbrush in your hand. Or maybe it was a flute or a castanet or a fountain pen to go with your poet's imagination. The point is, you're an original, and you know it. Even if you don't have a singular gift, you're drawn to the arts—anything creative, for that matter—and you have a unique way of looking at the world. Your need for depth and authenticity in relationships can lead to both great joy and profound sorrow, depending on whether others reciprocate. You don't care so much about adapting to group or societal expectations; your independence and sharp intuition propel you on your own path.

What to watch out for: When fear of conformity overrides your creativity, you can assume the role of "outsider" or "orphan" and end up feeling alienated. You may even go so far as refusing to vote or pay taxes. This lone-wolf stance might be a defense against feeling vulnerable. Try to be aware that blaming others for your banishment, or pushing away those who want to get close, only makes things worse. Also, dramatizing your emotions can interfere with your creativity.

Looking ahead: As long as you genuinely express yourself, you feel like the person you were meant to be. How you do it is irrelevant. A chef or architect can be as much of an artist as a painter or sculptor. Many advertising and public relations executives are also highly imaginative. Beyond work, there are opportunities everywhere you look to coax out your inner artist: Design your own jewelry line, create an innovative blog, dream up a comic strip. Relationships are another avenue for self-expression.

STRIVING TO BE SPONTANEOUS
You scored: 18

You are an adventurer: Action-oriented, curious, outgoing, and often technically gifted, you live for new experiences. You are drawn to risk-taking and aren't afraid to fail. Generally restless, you tend to job-hop or choose a field that offers constant novelty. If you had to name your favorite place, it might be the center of attention—you're a born entertainer, and can easily adapt to any audience. While you collect many acquaintances, you're less likely to develop deep, committed relationships.
What to watch out for: When you can't satisfy your thirst for variety and excitement, you may see yourself as trapped, which can lead to impulsive and self-destructive behavior—drinking, drugs, breaking off relationships, ditching financial responsibilities. Try to find value in some traditions; if you learn to appreciate repetitive experiences, you won't always feel the urge to bust free. And when a new opportunity thrills you, keep in mind that just because it sounds exciting, that doesn't mean it's good for you.
Looking ahead: Life will have meaning for you as long as you feel stimulated. That might mean chasing twisters, exploring the polar ice caps, getting a degree in dance therapy, or becoming an astronaut. It might also mean reading new books, attending workshops, or letting yourself get swept up in an intoxicating romance. As a risk-lover with a lot of energy, you're a natural entrepreneur. You'll be happiest if you change jobs every so often and travel extensively. Movement is what keeps you going.

STRIVING TO BE KNOWLEDGEABLE
You scored: 17

You are an intellectual: As a leader, you're often ahead of your time. As an employee, you try to surpass the competence level of peers, even managers. Incisive and curious, you're driven to deeply understand how things work. But that's things, not people. Oh, your family and friends are important; it's just that you don't need to spend hours engaging with them. Social validation isn't your goal—you're secure enough in your cerebral pursuits.
What to watch out for: When you can't find a way to be the expert, you may withdraw or simply withhold information, which can make you seem smug or arrogant. If you feel yourself retreating into your own world, seek a friend's help to pull you back. Also balance your cerebral tendencies through physical activities like jogging, hiking, or dance.
Looking ahead: You discover who you are meant to be through accumulating insight and knowledge. So follow your curiosity. Are you drawn to learning Mandarin? Join-ing a philosophy society? Studying and practicing Buddhist meditation? Delving into the complexities of computer programming? Writing a historical book? Pursuits that place you near the leading edge of technology, science, psychology, academia, or business are good bets. But any situation that allows you to work independently with freedom to investigate and innovate will fuel your drive.

STRIVING TO BE RECOGNIZED
You scored: 16

You are an achiever: Ambitious, competitive, and hardworking: That's you. With a clear image of who you are, you work tirelessly to make sure your accomplishments are recognized. Your drive for success extends to your family, and you invest a lot of energy in helping them live up to your expectations. Thanks to your knack for diplomacy and abundant charisma, you often inspire others.
What to watch out for: You are prone to becoming a workaholic, slaving away toward success while neglecting your personal life. Because you're driven to gain approval, you can find yourself performing for others like an actor; if you become overly concerned with your image, you end up feeling superficial. To keep your ambition under control, get involved in group activities that require cooperation. Also practice listening to those around you and think about sharing the spotlight from time to time.
Looking ahead: Any career that allows you to scale the ranks and gain recognition, status, even material rewards, lights you up. Actress, entrepreneur, salesperson, politician—you get the picture. And consider balancing your professional challenges with personal ones: Run a 10K, train for a triathlon, compete in a tennis tournament, bike from one end of your state to the other; or join a debate team, play in a poker circle, enter your purebred spaniel in a dog show. Whenever you can win at something, you're happy.

STRIVING TO HELP
You scored: 15

You are a nurturer: You are caring and supportive in your personal relationships as well as in your job. Unselfish and altruistic by nature, you often anticipate the needs of those around you before they are aware of them. If there is one thing that brings you satisfaction, it's tending to others.
What to watch out for: When you're doing things for people only to feel valued, you can become resentful. And if you sense that your help is not appreciated, you may end up playing the martyr. So before giving your time to everyone else, make sure to take care of yourself (physically, emotionally, and spiritually). And practice waiting until someone asks for help: While you may be able to perceive what a person needs, that doesn't mean she wants you to attend to it.
Looking ahead: It's important for you to be genuinely of service in acknowledged ways. Whether you foster a child, care for an elderly aunt, rescue animals, or support a rock star's career as her personal assistant, look for opportunities where you can help other people or bigger causes. Volunteer work has your name written on it, as do many careers: nursing, teaching, customer service, healing, social work. Don't feel pressured to run the company or lead the project; you may be even more effective as someone's right hand. And you'll likely find working with other people more meaningful than flying solo.

STRIVING TO BE IN CONTROL
You scored: 15

You are a leader: You approach everything as though you were born to be in charge. Confident, assertive, and decisive, you know what you want and you go after it. You also look out for family, friends, and community—you feel you know what's best for them—and have no fear of confronting anyone who challenges your ideas. Taking the driver's seat, you also generously donate time and energy to people and neighborhood projects.
What to watch out for: When you feel threatened, or others refuse to go along with your agenda, you can become confrontational and domineering, sometimes to the point of being dictatorial. Practice letting someone else take charge on occasion. Also try meditation; it can help you be-come more aware of your controlling impulses and ease the anxiety that may be provoking them.
Looking ahead: You discover your purpose when you take control of your environment. For you, finding a decision-making role is key. That could mean anything from producing a play to spearheading a global campaign for something you care about. In work, you're suited for leadership positions in education, government, industry, finance, religious institutions, or politics. But you can find satisfaction anytime you're given the autonomy to do things your own way.

STRIVING TO BE SECURE
You scored: 10

You are a stabilizer: You are the rock in a storm, the one others lean on. Loyal and com-mitted in your relationships, you maintain a support system of like-minded people whom you look out for. (So what if you do it behind the scenes and don't get credit?) You're careful with money, cherish the familiar, and defend the traditions you care about.
What to watch out for: Rapidly changing environments (like a shaky economy) are very hard for you. As a result of such instability, you can spiral into a state where everything seems catastrophic and you're sure life will only get worse. You can also become overcontrolling, rejecting any suggestion that doesn't conform to your idea of the way things should be. To avoid being too rigid, each month try changing one habit. Exper-iment with clothes, drive a different way to work, initiate conversations about subjects you wouldn't normally discuss. And when the opportunity arises to do something new, avoid the impulse to immediately say no—this may be nerve-racking, but the more you practice, the less anxious you'll feel.
Looking ahead: You find meaning in pursuing safety and certainty. Focusing on family can give you great satisfaction. Also consider planting a vegetable garden, hosting class reunions, volunteering as a lifeguard, teaching at your church or temple. In the work arena, look for positions where you're responsible for others, and for making sure everyone is following the rules. You work well in any environment that is stable and consistent. Careers in government, finance, the military, law enforcement, and product manufacturing are strong options for you.

Dear not-John

2011-06-17T02:00:00.001+08:00

A broken mirror I was,
The more I tried to fix me,
The more cuts I will get.

I can’t even bring myself to listen to her songs anymore cause they all remind me of you. It’s too painful. And you and I both know, she’s my favourite.

I hadn’t heard your voice for the longest time. But I wouldn’t call. Why? Because,
“Just hearing your voice would make me change my mind in an instant.” - Dear John.

There’s always a spot for you here.
I will always be here if you need me, just a call away.

Because knowing that you’re happy, is all that makes me happy.
As long as you’re happy, it doesn’t matter if I’m not part of your happiness.
As long as you’re happy, it doesn’t matter if another girl is in your arms.
As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.

And darling, I loved you so.

Day 12 — Someone You Hate or Caused You A Lot of Pain

2011-06-09T13:52:00.001+08:00

Been almost a month…well…not yet. Haha.

This person has caused me a lot of pain and is that same person I blogged about in Day 7. The pain was emotionally and sometimes physically. But it is love. Sometimes, we create excuses, sometimes we forget what we deserve, sometimes we just love with no excuses…we just Love blindly. And that was what happened, in fact, I believe many of you have done that. But it’s okay cause that was a choice we made…to love unconditionally. And yes, people change and hearts move on. And that is okay, because every heartbreak is a lesson learnt, and for me, it was learnt the hard way. Maybe he doesn’t want me to love him. Maybe I pushed him away. Maybe he can no longer stand the pain he was dealing with. Maybe I never loved him like he wanted me to. Maybe we were young. Maybe we made the wrong choice. Maybe…I never will stop loving him. I don’t hate this person…but he has certainly caused me a lot of pain. I love you. :)

***

1. Thank you, @waikuanlin for being such an awesome sister. :) I will be happy.

2. Thank you, @alvinlin1515. I should’ve listened to what you said.

3. Thank you, Nicholas Yee. You’re a great friend. Thanks for always being there.

4. And dear you, you broke my heart but that’s okay. Cause I know you will be happy. :) And I know you will change someday, somehow.

***

Now playing in my head, Adele’s Don’t You Remember.
But don’t you remember, don’t you remember?
The reason you loved me before.

Carmayla.
It’s THE name. :’)

Day 10 — Someone Whom You Don’t Talk to as Much as You’d Like and my movie time. :)

2011-05-16T07:54:00.001+08:00

Honestly, not many people. Really. In fact, I can’t think of any. Well, at least not yet. ~~Nowadays~~ For the past almost a year(?), I’m just like, if you wanna talk to me, and if I’m worth your time you’d call or text me. And most of the time, people call you, for help. Well, maybe except for a few good friends. :) But it’s like, I’m so good at being alone, it doesn’t matter that much, not as much as it was back when I was younger. And not that I am old now, I’m just, not as young as I was yesterday.

***

Is it me or is Ashton Kutcher kinda hot…and tall? It’s 7.15 a.m. now. And I ~~am having an Ashton Kutcher hangover~~ just finished watching No Strings Attached for the 2nd time today. :) No, I’m not crazy. I liked the movie…in fact, I think I kinda loved it. Yes, typical me, romance comedy. But you know, it was really nice. It sorta made my day, for now. :) You should watch it too. Movies like these make me think. :) It’s funny how he made her a period mix, and gave a a bunch of carrots. GO WATCH IT!

Adam: It's for you.
Emma: Congrats? For what? Having sex with you?
Adam: Yeah, you did a really good job so I thought you deserved a balloon.

Emma: I made you a Valentine's Day card.

Adam: What?
[laughs]
Adam: It's perfect. Will you read it for me?
Emma: [reads card] You give me premature ventricular contractions.
Adam: I'm assuming that's a good thing.
Emma: You make my heart skip a beat.
Adam: Aww.
Emma: Don't make fun of me!

Sandra Kurtzman (Emma’s mother): You know I worry about you sometimes.
Emma: Why? Is this about me not having a date?
Sandra Kurtzman: No, I know you can dance alone. I know that you'll be fine. You're always fine.
Emma: So?
Sandra Kurtzman: I don't know. When we lost your father I couldn't stand to see you in pain and I think you knew that. I think that you got good at being strong for me.
[pauses]
Sandra Kurtzman: I'm telling you be hurt. I can take it. The world can take it.

Adam: [Calling Emma] You can't just suddenly call me and say you miss me!
Emma: I know...
Adam: No, do not call me to say you miss me. Do not text me, do not e-mail me... do not write it on my wall! If you really miss me, come here and tell me that!

Emma: I'm going to start peeing with the door open, it's going to get weird.

***

I miss you. And how you didn’t work so hard. But I guess,
you have a direction and some goals now.
Don’t forget me. :)

Are you the kind of person that would do anything for your loved one, or expect your loved one to do everything for you?

2011-05-16T03:04:00.001+08:00

I think it's really important that it is a two way love. Hence, it is important to have both parties, do something for each other.

Ask me anything that you want to.

Day 9 — Someone I Wish I Could Meet

2011-05-11T12:42:00.001+08:00

Warning : This post is pretty wordy and well, a little confusing to me. :)

When I reveal this later on in my post, some of my friends and possibly some family members, who know me, will be shocked. But, I’m not so sure about this. :) You MIGHT be shocked. Cause, if I were my friend, I’d be shocked.

There are a lot of people I wish to meet actually, yeah, a couple of them. I’m going to name the top three. Ready? Go.

The person I want to meet most is God. It’s not something that I’m proud of but I’m not that girl who goes to church every Sunday, and sometimes, I forget to say grace, I don’t do devotion every night, and like any normal human being, I sin. But God has played a big role in my life. Always. Why I’d like to meet him? Because I’m curious. :D What does he really look like? Is he really omnipresent? Does he have angels around him all the time? Does he make mistakes, like us? Do we really have guardian angels? Is life eternal? Does he feel hurt? Does he glow like I’ve always imagined? Well, as I said, I’m curious. :) And I also have other personal questions to ask him in person, although I have already done most of them on my prayers. Does he look like anyone of us? Maybe he’s just a ray of bright light. I don’t know…I’m so weird, right? Yeah, I think I am.
And dear you, if you’re reading this, I just want you to know, every time I’m scared or I have a nightmare, I pray. And I love it when pray together out loud. Especially when we go to bed. It makes me feel safe. Thank you, love.

Second person I wish I could meet, myself.
YES! As strange as it sounds, I want to meet myself. I want to meet myself! I want to know how’d I think of myself from a 2nd person point of view. I want to have a conversation with myself and know how that would feel. And try my own baking just to see if it’s nice. I want to see how much I love myself. I want to know whether I’m overconfident, hateful, cheerful, quirky, full of myself, lovely, smart, pretty, inspiring, lame, rude, revengeful, attention seeking, a good friend, etc. I want to know all that and more, in someone else’s eyes. I want to live with me and know how hard is it to tolerate myself. I want to share thoughts with myself and know how different are they from others. I want to spend time with myself to know how boring or exciting it is. I want to laugh to myself to see how it really looks. I want to date myself to see what kind of lover I am. I want to sing to myself to know how out-of-tune it really sounds. But the thing is, I want to do this all from another person’s point of view and it is pretty difficult. :) I would try, sometimes, and fail miserably.
Okay. Do you get me? Cause, when I read it again, I didn’t quite get it. But I know it makes sense. Okay, would you please leave a comment to see if you get me? I’m still confused.

Third person I’d like to meet would be my child. Or rather, my future child.
Am I a good mother to you, darling? What did your daddy and I name you? Are daddy and mummy still together? Was it like we planned? Did we name you Layla? Are you happy? Do you love us? Are you doing well in school? What’s your boyfriend’s name? Oh. It’s so ridiculous. I’ll talk about my future child some other time? I’m sorry… :(

***

I had a great night last night. I was at home, but I was chatting with 2 people I love. Different kinds of love but they mean a lot to me, differently. Get it? Okay. I’m confusing myself. Whatever, so, I had a great night. I wish to have many more nights like that, but I know one of you will have to work every other night. And the other one will have to live life, the way he/she wants to. :)

That’s my favourite episode of Glee. Season 2 – Episode 8 (Furt)
:)

You are worth every tear that I cry, all the nights I spend waiting for
you to come home, all the little things we argue about and
all the heartache I may feel in the future. Loving you definitely isn't easy, but you are worth having in my life.
I’ll love you. Always.

Are We An Item?…

2011-05-10T20:54:00.001+08:00

…boy, quit playing. Yes, that’s Bieber.

2nd post for today! Went for ~~a bit of~~ walking and ~~some~~ jogging and a lot of thinking. And an unexpected, unplanned picture taking time well, with my 3 mega pixel phone camera. :) There are things we would never say to the ones we love or once loved, even if it’s true, like, “I don’t love you anymore”. I want the people I love to tell me the truth, even if it hurts to know. The truth hurts right? :)

I just don’t know which path to take now. To turn left, or to turn right.I don’t even know which makes me happier. They say, “Relationships are like roads, they have bumps to go over and most are two way. There has to be give and take on both sides to make it work.” My question is, “Are you happy? For real. No lies, hun. Not anymore.”

I want to watch this sunset everyday, at home. Or ~~our~~ my future home. Having ‘the one’ right next to me, and possibly, holding our baby girl, Layla or boy.. :) I love the way the sky looks during sunset, and sunrise. It captures my heart. And kicks me in the butt. It makes me think when I see them, and most of the time, I realise things. Even the things I don’t want to realise. And today, I realised that it is okay to love someone who hurts you and that it is worth fighting for if he or she feels the same way.

I loved you from the very first day.
We had a beautiful love.
I ~~loved~~ still love you.

Day 8 — Your Favourite Internet Friend + more of Adele, etc

2011-05-10T15:34:00.001+08:00

The thing is that I don’t have an internet friend. Well, that I like that is. Hmmm…but if I had to pick, he’s not exactly an internet friend. He’s my junior, in high school.

Haha. Trust me, I have never spoken to him in school. Not even a high, or a bye. But somehow we ended up friends in Facebook. :) This guy, is a gadget ~~geek~~ guy. Ask him and he will know…most things? Haha. I don’t know anything about him anymore. Well…his surname is well, Yap? Haha.

***

Now playing, who else? Adele! He Won’t Go.
”Some say I'll be better without you,
But they don't know you like I do,
Or at least the sides I thought I knew.”
This song perfectly matches how I’m feeling like 2 pieces of jigsaw. I love this song. :) And Adele. :D I’m really hooked. Like a fish.

So when I was done with that song, I got another song playing, Rob Thomas’ Someday.
”And I don't wanna wait, I just wanna know,
I just wanna hear you tell me so,
Give it to me straight, tell it to me slow.”

***

Can’t believe it’s been 2 years since this movie. :) My favourite scene.

Mike Chadway: [sarcasticly] I know! Why don't we spend the telling me how much *fun* you and Colin had having sex in Los Angeles?
Abby Richter: I broke up with Colin in Los Angeles, you jackass!
Mike Chadway: What?
Abby Richter: Oh, that's got your attention. Well if you think we're going to finish what we started in Los Angeles you are out of your mind. You lost your chance.
Mike Chadway: Who are you kidding. I never had a chance with you.
Abby Richter: That's right. I had a temporary lapse in judgement when I thought you were more than you are, but you aren't.
Mike Chadway: Oh, yeah? What's that supposed to mean?
Abby Richter: [mockingly] I'm Mike Chadway. I like girls in Jello. I like to fuck like a monkey. Don't fall in love. It's scary.
Mike Chadway: Yeah, it is scary. It's terrifying. Especially when I'm in love with a psycho like you.
Abby Richter: I am not a psycho!
Mike Chadway: I just told you that I love you and all you heard was "psycho." You're the definition of neurotic.
Abby Richter: No! The definition of neurotic is a person who suffers from anxiety, obessive thoughts, compulsive acts, and physical ailments without any objective evidence...
Mike Chadway: Shut up! Yet again I told you that I'm in love with you and you're standing there giving me a vocabulary lesson.
Abby Richter: You're in love with me. Why?
Mike Chadway: Beats the shit out of me, but I am.
[she leans over and kisses him]

***

I keep trying to find a way to make things better now. Like, how I feel and how I think…but mostly, what’s he thinking. But I try not to let that bother me, cause she’s a nice girl. And I should be happy, as long as she treats him right. :) But the thing is that, it’s hanging, again. No clarification. Or well, proper communication. Why do I keep doing this? Maybe what they all say is true, sometimes Love makes us do foolish things. But, this time, I’m happy about it. And it’s almost like, I’m terrified, but I’m willing to take the risk of getting my heart broken…but it’s worth the risk I hope.

I love you. From the very first day.

I ‘ll Remember

2011-05-09T19:31:00.001+08:00

I had the longest sleep today, compared to the past week. Which is good…I guess. And my status?, it’s complicated, don’t ask me why. :)

Eating some Kiwi ice-cream and some Mothers’ Day cake from yesterday.

Now playing, addicted to and ~~I couldn’t help it so I raped the replay button~~ on repeat, Adele’s Someone like You.
”Never mind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you too,
"Don't forget me," I begged,
"I'll remember," you said”

“If you’ve ever had a broken heart, you’re about to remember it again.”
She’s only 23. And ~~I’m probably still a little excited that~~ this album was released on my 18th birthday.
She is absolutely bli-riant. This song takes me think and remember things.
It made me feel better, almost as if it is okay to be heartbroken.

Who said you need a full band to sound this good?

I figured that this is too awesome and that four lines of the song isn’t enough.

I heard, that you're settled down,
That you, found a girl,
And you're married now.

I heard,
That your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things,
I didn't give to you.

Old friend,
Why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back,
Or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded,
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you too,
"Don't forget me," I begged,
"I'll remember," you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead."
Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,
Yeah.

You know how the time flies,
Only yesterday,
It was the time of our lives,
We were born and raised,
In the summer haze,
Bound by the surprise of our glory days.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded,
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you too,
"Don't forget me," I begged,
"I'll remember," you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead."

Nothing compares,
No worries or cares,
Regrets and mistakes,
They are memories made,
Who would have known,
How bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you too,
"Don't forget me", I begged,
"I'll remember", you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead"

Never mind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you too,
"Don't forget me”, I begged,
"I'll remember", you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead"
Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead.

“Adele : One who is of extreme awesomeness and possesses gifts and talents which shock and awe the mere mortal. Is often thought to be the most beautiful and sparkly star in the heavens.”
Urban Dictionary

[Day 6 : A Stranger] + [Mean]

2011-05-08T04:31:00.001+08:00

If you ask, what do am I to write about a stranger? Or what am I going to rant about this word, “Mean”? Hmmm…I don’t know man! Maybe I’m just not telling you. Yet. Hahaha. So read on!

But before I proceed, I’d like to express my appreciation to people who made my day. Cause I had a really great day. Got picked up, drove around to find makan, ended up in Bumbung after 812746 miles, went to house, long talk (and some tears!), tongue twisters, slept, suppose to go on a “mini hiking trip” but woke up too late, Chilli Pan Mee, said goodbye, then 3-course-meal, nap, failed football, ended up walking (and some jogging) around the park on Skype (Y), awkward dinner, 1U [:(], more girl talk, mamak, gangster ride home. Here it goes, in order of appearance (physically and mentally), Mr. Alvin, Miss Wai Kuan, Timothy, Mong, Nicholas, Ian, Miss Beatrice (ahemszeahemahemwei!), Jybs, my OH-SO-AWESOME Tan Tan, Kok Chong, Jyb’s cute nephew and my OH-SO-HOWSYOURMUM Felicia! My day was great.

Okay. This is it!
*clears throat*
Stranger

strang·er
noun

1. One who is neither a friend nor an acquaintance.
2. A foreigner, newcomer, or outsider.
3. One who is unaccustomed to or unacquainted with something specified; a novice: a stranger to our language; no stranger to hardship.
4. A visitor or guest.
5. Law One that is neither privy nor party to a title, act, or contract.

Anyone can make assumptions about anything. No one is limited to the things that they think about. The mind is often, has a mind of its own. And often, we, as human beings, judge. :) And as bad as it is, it IS normal. If you walk in public with boxers and singlet, you’re sloppy. If you have short curly hair, not-so-skinny and small eyes, you’re not hot. If you are a girl hanging out with a bunch of guys, you’re a whore. If you don’t share opinions, you don’t have one. If I go on, this whole list will never come to an end.

Have we thought, maybe he had no money, and that was his best suit? Maybe that guy needed to get a present at a mall before a date. Probably having short curly hair, not-so-skinny and small eyes is the REAL her. And that girl who hangs out with guys, maybe all her girlfriends were bitches and ditched her. That person who isn’t speaking up, maybe her heart is screaming out loud.

Okay, now, seriously? Why am I saying those as if I don’t judge? Ladies, and well, gentlemen, I do. I’m human, I judge. And to people I’ve judged, I’m sorry I judged you. Sometimes we all just can’t help it. It’s like falling in love, we can’t control it…well…at least, I can’t control falling in love. :)

People are people, sometimes, we say or do mean things…and sometimes, without realising how much every opinion counts, it hurts to know that people judged you. But, this is life. Accept it as it is.

Now playing, Mean by none other than Taylor Swift.
”You, with your switching sides and your walk-by lies and your humiliation,
You, have pointed out my flaws again as if I don't already see them.”

Everyone watch the video! Taylor Swift’s latest video. Click here! No clear YouTube videos yet! Well, I can’t find one. :D

;) Hope you had a great day, are having a great day and will have a great day ahead.

You Had Me

2011-05-07T16:30:00.000+08:00

"Staring at the blank pages to this book, half written.
Who said love is eternal, whoever said it's temporal?
Whoever loved, may be hurt, but one who never loves, will never learn.
I picked up the pen today, and started to write on this very piece of paper, after this long, long time.
Random thoughts and realisation.

Love and heartbreaks, I've been there.
Smiles and tears, I've done that.
Not all promises will remain like 'em ol' school; they will be broken.
No heart will remain like them untouched; they will be shattered.

People are people, sometimes people change,
Things are things, sometimes, they don't workout,
My heart will be my heart, always conquering.
But as I am writing my thoughts on this bed at 3 a.m., I'll remember this feeling."

...7th May

Now playing, You Had Me by Joss Stone.

"I've realized in time that my eyes are not blind,
I've seen it before, I'm taking back my life."

Sometimes, we have to put our heads up and smile.

The world is always a better place if we smile.

Day 7 - My EX (boyfriend OR girlfriend OR love OR crush)

2011-05-06T19:33:00.001+08:00

Being the typical me, I’m going to write about my ex-boyfriend. :) Yes, I write about love and heartbreak…a lot. And I’m an emo nemo. I blog what I really feel…most of the time. :D So. Here the story goes. And it has a title.

Of Glowsticks and Ice-cream

It was a beautiful night, and he was looking for something dumb to do. Glowsticks. That’s when we first spoke. 27th March.

That awkward moment when he calls you out, to mamak with two of his friends, ordered drinks and spent 45 minutes there. With 4 people, only, 2 were ACTUALLY communicating. 14th May.

Flirting and flirting and yes, more flirting. No strings attached, something that felt right, back then. Perfect.

First date - it felt so wrong, it felt so right. 17th May.

And, movie dates, lunch after school, Pink day & 31% @ Baskin Robbins.

A late night call, school day, almost 7 hours. No sleep. And I told myself, this is a joke. But baby, it turned out to be 11 months of a relationship. A lot of ups. And a lot of downs. A long, expensive lesson learnt. But no regrets.

Remember the 5 stages of grief…denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance? Yeah. Thing is, I’m in denial but I’m done bargaining. And I’m not angry at all. Or am I not angry YET? Should I be prepared or what?

The End.

Today, I feel like I chased someone out of my life. A great friend, a very, very good person, a really nice person to talk to and this person has been one of the most honest person I’ve ever met. And because of my nature of wanting to know the truth and not wanting to hurt this person, I asked a question. And honesty, he provided me with. And yes, I feel down about it but…he’s not going to be hurt all that much after all. Thank you for understanding. Thank you for telling me the truth. Please don’t wait. I don’t want to lose a friend.

Look forward, Abigail. Up ahead. You’re going to shine like fireworks over his sad empty town.

Now playing on repeat, Tattoo by Jordin Sparks.
You’re still a part of everything I do,
You’re on my heart just like a tattoo.
Every line in this song reminds me of some things that I have done and have yet to do. :’) Songs like this at this moment, makes me tear.

Again,
Dear confused little creature,

Everything will be okay in the end,
If it’s not okay, Abby, it’s not the end.
If it’s meant to be, it will come back to you.
If it’s not meant to be, life goes on.

Sincerely, me.

I love my long distance relationships - my sister, my best friend. What would I do without them? K3U

Can’t wait for tomorrow, Saturday! :) Morning is sure gonna be awesome! Looking forward. Keep looking forward. Waiting for the “boyf” to pick me up! :D

Day 5 : My Dreams

2011-05-05T01:48:00.001+08:00

I’m going to list down 12 things I want to do / achieve in life and two other REALLYrandom lists. Cause…you know, I don’t see an end to my dreams. I keep dreaming. :) Nowadays, I’m just like, I can’t sleep at night…so how do I dream when I can’t fall asleep right? Okay. Forget my nonsensical jumble of words.

So here it goes,

The Twelve Things I Want to Do in Life

1. I want to go on a mission trip to Africa…or anywhere else. For half a year at least.
2. Sponsor a child.
3. Sky diving.
4. Write a book.
5. Sing at a wedding.
6. Launch my own line…of clothing, of course.
7. Go blood donation, regularly.
8. Record an album(?) Haha. Just for fun. Not for sale.
9. Open a flower cafe. Yes, wood furniture in white, and flowers…real flowers, for sale. :)
10. Have a cute little tattoo. That has a story. :)
11. Design someone’s wedding dress and the bridesmaids' dresses…like…okay, maybe mine. AND my sister’s. :D
12. I want to go for a personal professional photoshoot. (Y)

The Eight Random Things About Me

1. I eat a lot, like a bear. Like Yogi maybe.
2. I have a crush on Dianna Agron.
3. I think guys who are rude and curses all the time are such a turn-off.
4. I think Chindians (Chinese + Indian) are “ ;P ” (if you know what I mean…) Okay, I meant cute.
5. In a relationship, generally, and specifically (what the heck am I saying?), I prefer the guy to make more effort. I’m not sexist.
6. I think having period is the best and worst time of the month. :D
7. I love bargaining. It makes me feel good.
8. I dislike sleeping with the lights on…even if it’s a small plug-in lamp thingy.

The Five Things I Want to TRY to Do

1. Be more…hardworking. I’m just so lazy, you know.
2. I hope to open a free clinic. For everyone. No exceptions. :)
3. Try to connect. With people around me. I feel so…disconnected. I don’t bother ‘connecting’ with people…especially with those who don’t bother. Like I’m living in a tree house. In the middle of a jungle.
4. Eat less Hello Panda. :D Hello world, I’m Momma Panda!
5. Stop thinking so much. I think too much you know. I can’t think straight sometimes, everything comes gushing into my head and it’s always like, a small matter seems so big to me. But later on, it seems so tiny and I even tend to laugh at it.

Now playing, So Small by Carrie Underwood.
“Sometimes, that mountain you’ve been climbing is just a grain of sand,
What you’ve been out there searching for forever is in your hands.”

Every time I want to give up on him, there’s always something inside me telling me to just give it some time. But, they say, why waste time being the one who is waiting in desperation when you’re only an option?

Like An…

2011-05-01T17:43:00.001+08:00

…asshole, like an asshole, now you’re feeling so fly like an asshole.

Started my day awesomely, loved my morning. And a bit of my afternoon. Almost-silky smooth skin. :D

It’s five thirty now. Yes, 6 and a half more hours to 2nd of May. And I feel like kicking someone (a guy preferably!) in his youknowwhere, punch his nose, dig out his eyes and feed them to the fish, and break his arm.

I’m pacing back and forth wishing you were at my door.

Some people should think twice before they speak. For your case, you shouldn’t speak. At all. Can’t tolerate your sh*t no more.

Note to self : I shouldn’t let asses like that spoil my awesome day!

Waterfall.

You’re gonna catch a cold…

2011-05-01T02:40:00.001+08:00

…from the ice inside your soul.

Warning! This post contains sadness and heartbreak. And a perfect ~~marriage~~ wedding.

Just taking a little break from the 30-day challenge. :)

Life isn’t perfect.
Love is foolish sometimes, as for me, now.

Praying the floor won’t fall through, again.

When he doesn’t care, he doesn’t.
He could care less if you waited for him til 5 a.m. just to hear his voice.
He wouldn’t even bother if you had other guys chasing you.
He wouldn’t notice the tears that sink into your pillow, or the sadness in your voice.
He wouldn’t realise you love him all that much.

He wouldn’t bother…unless he’s pretending he doesn’t.
If you love me, TELL and SHOW me.
L-O-V-E isn’t just a word.

“My mother accused me of losing my mind, but I swore I was fine.
You paint me a blue sky, go back and turn it to rain.
And I live in your chess game, but you change the rules everyday,
Wondering which version of you I might getting on the phone tonight.”

Yes, that is what love is. Part of it.

Well, we wouldn’t get a rainbow without a little rain right?

Everyone is saying no. I’m saying yes, why?, love.

"It's impossible." said pride. "It's risky." said experience. "It's pointless." said reason. "Give it a try." whispered the heart.

As Walt Disney once said, “A man should never neglect his family for business.” It’s true. Really.

Since Waity Kate has become the Duchess of Cambrigde, I’ll be Waity Abigail. :)

Now playing, Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri.
”No, I can't take one more step towards you,
Cause all that's waiting is regret.”
I wish my heart said the same thing as by mind. I can’t stay in a relationship that has a 10-minute communication on a daily basis. I don’t know how some people do it. But it’s really not working for me.

Marry Me played on the radio. Heartbroken.

Watched the Royal Wedding yesterday. Almost teared. She, Kate, was as beautiful as always. With her wedding dress on…I felt like it was a fairytale wedding, a little Disney-like, dreamy and absolutely perfect. It was a kind beauty that words could not convey. Thanks to Sarah Burton (for the wedding dress), the Queen (for the borrowed tiara), her parents (for the earrings), etc.

The not-so-formal engagement photo.

The perfect 8ft long train wedding dress.

I love how she keep things simple.
But still looking like a princess in a fairytale, who came to life.

My heart skipped a beat when William took a little
longer than usual to put on that ring.

Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

Totally loved the fact that they smiled whenever they
looked at each other throughout the ceremony.

Okay. I’m going to stop with the pictures. Time for bed.

Note to self : Look on the bright side. At least, your long term relationship is working! :) (Y) And there’s still another prince!

Day 4 : My Sibling (or closest relative…)

2011-04-29T04:01:00.001+08:00

And so here it is. I’m going to talk about my favourite sister. Yes, as I may have introduced her a little in my previous post, she lives in Singapore.

Yeah. We’re like 5 hours NORMAL driving time apart. BUT I live with her in some days of her life (and mine too)…you know, just to have a sister to annoy or get annoyed by and chill out, like having some sisterly time we never had back when she was here…yes, apparently she thought I was annoying, and there was one occasion, if I remember properly, I was about 6(?) and I slapped her…out of little kids anger and copying TV shows. :D

Btw, we’re twelve, yes, 12, years apart. That’s about 144 months. Okay…maybe, 135(?) since her birthday and…okay. Never mind it. It’s 3 am. Stop counting, Abigail.

We’ve been closer this year. Especially. :) But it’s like a funny and a little weird kind of close. Thing is, I like it you know. Haha. Sometimes I feel like she’s my twin. :) And she’s my FAVOURITE sister, Why?

1. She told me that she was watching Bondi Rescue. And saw a lot of YUMMY men. Like OF ALL WORDS? YUMMY?

2. She finally gave in to manicure and pedicure. Yes. See her cute little toes?

3. She’s thinking of buying a bikini…which I think is awesome.

4. She swims…and by swimming I mean about 30 laps…a day. Non-stop.

5. She does Japanese drumming every Monday! (Now you can wave Goodbye confidently with no bye-bye arms!) Okay…I don’t know why I came up with that.

6. She is my only sister…related and keeping in contact, almost everyday.

7. We share insider’s secret. :D Like…grandma’s SURPRISE visit to Singapore.

8. We have a lot in common…like we fancy Japanese cuisine, we like men, we’re from the same womb and we’re both…~~girls~~ ladies.

9. She surprised me. With my cake…my 18th birthday cake.

10. She has the ability to make me cry…FIVE days, in a row, and I was 18 when she did that.

11. She dances.

12. She loves me. I know right! Who wouldn’t? Haha. Kidding. I’m just having a sofullofmyself moment.

13. She’s a Swiftie (a Taylor Swift fan). Well…the truth is that…I turned her into one. We had daily dose of Taylor Swift about 10 days before the concert since she didn’t know ANYTHING about her. :D But yeah. I evangelized. For more pictures, click here.

14. She listens. Yes. She does. And she gives some awesome advice…most of the time. :D :D

15. The way she misheard Dynamite’s lyrics, yes, Taio Cruz. :) “I throw my hands up in the air sometimes saying Ayo, Galileo!” Hahaha. Just in case you forgot again,Jie, it’s “Gotta let go.” :) I still love you.

I would go on with the list, but that would be endless. It’s been fun having her around…~~after I got older~~. :D She’s been a great sister. She’s been my awesome Woman Jie. No one could ask for a better sister. And I love her, for who she is. Don’t judge her from the mature look, she’s a little kid. Well, a grown-up mature little kid who loves to have fun! K3U

Now playing, Enchanted by Taylor Swift.
“Please don’t be in love with someone else,
Please don’t have somebody waiting on you.”
My sis’ favourite Taylor Swift song. All for you. Btw, can I sing at your wedding? :D

And now, I’d like to say thank you for reading this, with a sprinkle of Taylor Swift. :)

P. S : How’s my new background and all? Do leave a comment! And click on the ads! Thank you.

And, I’m really looking forward to tomorrow’s post! I might take some time to upload it…too many dreams.

Day 3 : My Parents

2011-04-28T00:50:00.001+08:00

Hi there, again. :) I guess this is one of those post that I don’t really look forward to…not because I grew up with one parent, I just had nothing much that I could think of to write about…I don’t know, let’s just see, alright? I still don’t know what I’m going to write. :)

Okay, so my mum, is well, my mum. It always has been for the past 18 years, 3 months and 4 days now and always will be. And as for my dad, yes, he has been my dad for the same amount of time…probably, in my mind, subconsciously, he was always there…or I pretended that he was there on some occasions.

I just…don’t feel like talking about them…there’s nothing much to talk about anyways. :D They’re just divorced, for the past 18 years, I lived with my mum, grandma and granduncle. And some parts of the 18 years, I live with my favourite sister. :D And some occasional days, my favourite brother. Yes, they’re both my favourite, why?, cause I have no other siblings…well, none whom I keep in contact with, it’s complicated. And not only because if that that they’re my favourite, but because they’re simply awesome, no, SHE is simply awesome and he’s just…weird, but well, he’s, my “old biscuit” (lou peng) brother. But I love them both!

I’m sorry that all my life, I tried so hard not to be like you.
I’m sorry that I have hurt you in anyway…directly or indirectly.
I’m sorry I don’t understand sometimes, but I know one day I will.
I’m sorry that we don’t see eye to eye on a lot of matters, but we tolerate.
I’m sorry we argue sometimes.
I’m sorry I made you cry.
Thank you for everything…it was not the big things that mattered so much, mostly the little ones.
Thank you for giving birth to me.
Thank you for being my mum.
Thank you for being my dad.
I love you…although sometimes, you have really bad taste in men.
I love your really pretty legs too.

Now playing, Scars by Alison Iraheta.
”You say don’t act like a child,
But what if it’s a father I need.”

Day 4 post will be up soon!, since I have nothing much to say in today’s. :D

I love you.

Day 2 : My Crush

2011-04-26T23:16:00.001+08:00

My crush…do you mean the one I have a crush on, has a crush on me or…the one I crushed?

Okay, first of all, I don’t have someone whom I have a crush on (maybe bald Eric from Souled Out but there’s nothing much to write about him you see…I mean…besides how ~~baldly amazing~~ attractive he is…)…neither do I know anyone who has a crush on me. So I’m just going to write about the one I crushed, deeply and I regret I crushed you so hard…that way.

All these wouldn’t have happened if someone didn’t ditch us! Ahem. Okay. NO NAMES HERE, Abby, NO NAMES!

I’m sorry things had to turn out that way.
I’m sorry we never really talked about it.
I’m sorry it didn’t work out the way we planned it.
I’m sorry I broke your heart.
I’m sorry I was such a bitch to you.
I’m sorry if I ever made you feel small or useless.

You were understanding.
You look at me when I smile…as if I was the prettiest thing on earth.
You never got mad at me.
You loved me despite the fact that your friends said I am bad for you.
They were right, I was and will never be right for you.

And the way you surprise me with your little gifts…occasionally.
Sometimes, you screw up…cause you probably left a note on your phone wall that says, “Remember to buy box for necklace.” and coincidentally, I had to use your phone to make a call after eating Rojak.

I am sincerely sorry for everything. I’m glad we’re still friends, maybe not good friends, but friends. I don’t know if it’s hard for you to be friends with me but I really appreciate this friendship. Although I know your friends hate me, I want you to know that, I have never meant for us to end up this way. But I hope you’ve moved on and have learnt to love someone else who deserves you better.

Hope your exams are going really well! :D

I’m grateful to have known a person like you.

Don’t ever stop loving. You’re a great person.

You’re perfect. We’re just not perfect for each other.

Now playing, Thinking of You by Katy Perry.
”Comparisons are easily done,
Once you’ve had a taste of perfection.”

I guess everything happens for a reason.

P.S : It’s not exactly even Day 2 yet. I’m so excited about this Thirty Day Challenge thing. :D I’m gonna write about Day 3 soon! I’m excited.

Day 1 : My Bestfriend…

2011-04-26T02:14:00.001+08:00

…is a girl.

So if you have read my previous post, I’m up for a 30-day challenge. And today’s Day 1.

I love my bestie…I mean, that’s why she’s my bestfriend right? :D

She’s currently 8118.9 kilometers away from here. Yes, I Googled that. Again.
Moscow, Kualalala Lumpur. Well, she’ll be there for about 7 years. Of course, there will be visits, mostly, her coming back. But..who knows?, maybe one day I’ll surprise her!

Hmmm…we’ve been through many ups and downs, “crushing” on each other’s ex-boyfriends, backstabbing, playing truant, being two-faced, hated those changes that happened to her, THE WET SUCTION CUP, study dates, gossips, shopping, makingaheartshapewiththefoamontopoftheStarbucksdrink moments, dance lessons, LEO Club, karaoke, ferris wheel, tuition, merry-go-rounds, lying to the boyfriend just to watch a movie…yes, of our favourite actor…who? Josh…wait for it…Duhamel. And we got ‘caught’ after that. Well, okay, I’m sorry about that, Tan. :D

Yes, we hated each other at one point…Hahaha. I knew her back in 2006. Those were the days, of me living in Bandar Utama, and we’d walk back from school together, then, we’ll sit outside her house, well, sometimes, next to the bin, the smelly bin. :) We’d talk about everything under the sun, listen to songs…etc. We’d sit there til 7.30 p.m. occasionally. Haha.

But people are people and sometimes we change our minds.
Backstabbing, hatred, love, popularity, silent wars and…enemies. Tired of the drama. We grew apart. No talking for two years, yes, I missed her…but you know, my ego’s like a man’s. :D

YES I KNOW WHO IS HER “IDOL”…well, at least I think so, it’s Megan Fox, right? :D Or…I don’t know man. Fergie? Hehehe.

She loves her family, like…yeah, she does. :D I remember one time, she left her house keys at home and after school, I walked her back…that was the angriest I saw her…EVER! So here’s how it goes, her brother was home, I think the doorbell was going to spoil and the house phone was going to burst. And she was SO furious, she shook the door and kicked the door, ~~gave it some lecture~~…I honestly thought it was going to break. Haha. It’s funny. It really is. And after all that commotion, noise, anger, rage, and life, HER BROTHER WAS STILL ASLEEP!

Now playing, Long Distance by Bruno Mars.
“Now the minutes feel like hours,
And the hours feel like days.”

One thing I’d like to say here is that a long distance relationship is not about how long you can wait, it’s about how long you are willing to wait and why are you waiting.
No one can guarantee that a long distance relationship will workout, but nothing is impossible. I’m not saying that it’s a guy’s fault or the girl made a mistake, a relationship, as we know it, is a 2-way thing, not 1-way, or 3-way. If a long distance relationship is a guarantee not to work, does it mean that if you see each other everyday, there will be a happily ever after ending?

I love you, Tan. :D Can’t wait for this June, July and August.

P.S : Babe, if you’re reading this, I just want to let you know I think I went to the garbage and dig up some Cherry jam. :( And I miss you. :D

Thirty Days

2011-04-25T23:51:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, people are just so calculative. Okay, if we’re not close friends, it’s okay. When we are, it’s just annoying. Like…sometimes, it’s like “WTF?”

So, this is what I’m going to blog about, soon. The days may not be consecutive…but I’ll try my best, okay? :D

Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Who you don’t talk to as much as you’d like
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — Someone you hate/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — Someone who is going through a hard time
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only a day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — Someone that you're afraid to tell everything to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Now playing, I Never Told You by Colbie Caillat.
”After all the things we’ve been through.”
Been too long. :) We can’t turn back the hands of time, can we?

Day 1 post coming up soon. :)

When sun shines…

2011-04-25T01:36:00.001+08:00

…we’ll shine together.

When your hopes of admiring the not-so-sharp edge of the sun peeking above the horizon, looking right into you like nothing else matters, was shattered four years ago and two days back. Well, one with the one I loved, one with the one I love many, many much. :) I love you. The almost-endless talking, eating RM5.80 DURIAN apom (and my yummy SUNNY SIDEUP apom), long drive to Genting, your “drifting”, your super-facepalm jokes, coffee, red velvet cake, finding out that you have TWITTER, and the 2-hours in-the-car sleep…waking up to a YOU-BETTER-RUN-THERE-NOW bladder, and Taylor Swift’s Today was a Fairytale and 10 minutes later, ~~we both~~ I ~~insist~~ realise that the mist was like…a…monster, trying to eat my dreams alive, but you know, didn’t make me all that sad about the fact that I couldn’t see the sunrise that dawn. I was glad to have spent time with you. And sunrise is something that I can see another day.

I had some sandwich for breakfast. :) Thank you.

It’s not over, yet.

Now playing, Who Says by Selena Gomez.
”I’m no beauty queen,
I'm just beautiful me.”

Yeah. I suppose this is it, what I’m feeling right now. People often talk about the negative things about you, like how you’re annoying cause you talk too much or too little, how you have small eyes or big ones, how you’ve been single all your life or if you change your partner every month, how you eat like a pig and stay skinny or how you eat so little and you’re fat, etc. But here’s the thing, who are they to judge? I am someone who doesn’t really care what people say,I stand up for myself. If you’ve ever thought or said that, I’m fat, ugly, have a retarded toe, hairy, I seldom wear make-up, I eat a lot, paint my nails with different colours, has really bad sense in fashion, is too obsessed with Taylor Swift, attention seeker, is a loner cause I don’t talk to most of my ex-classmates or whatsoever, guess what? It doesn’t affect me to become who I want to be, I don’t need you to talk about my faults. Every one should be celebrating themselves, their existence. EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL, inside, let it shine through the darkness of the mask that everyone forces you to put on. I am happy to be me…really…although sometimes I think my belly is like a tumour or sometimes I think it’s my third breast. :D

Are you bored reading? Yeah, I guess so. But thanks for reading til now. :D Thank you. It’s just cause I haven’t blogged for a really long time, and people, especially teenagers, just don’t live how they want to live, they live according to what their peers say, do, think or eat (just advertising my favourite thing to do! Nomnomnom). If they love you, they will accept you for who you are.

I am really happy I helped a lady the other day, it makes me really happy…and she was really adorable. :D I hope she had a nice day. I love how the little things make me so happy. It’s really hard for me to speak to, communicate with or look at people who do not support me helping people, yes, it’s none of my business they say, but I feel really happy after helping someone…you know, sometimes, I just feel like saying, “Hey look, I am the one helping them, I’m not dragging you into this, so don’t stop me from doing something that makes me happy and sometimes, most of the time, it’s ~~mutualism~~ a win-win situation.”

Okay…enough with the REALLY long post.

I love Hello Panda.

500 days of Summer

2011-04-22T19:19:00.001+08:00

…spring, autumn and winter.

Yeah. That was long. I’ve been gone from this blog for about 500 days now. And they weren’t all the days Summer. Mostly summer, sometimes, spring, autumn, occasionally winter. On winter days when there are people you love supporting you, giving you warmth and love, thee days, they turn to spring. :) Well that’s metaphorically, like…if it were to be literal, it’s really 500 days of summer. REALLY.

So. If you have been a reader of my blog previously, WELCOME BACK! Yes, noticeable changes, and still changing. Don’t worry, I’m still me…blogging about my life. And if you just started or just happen to be popping by, Hello! :D

As for the past 500 days, they can’t be put into proper words exactly, there were tears and laughter, ups and downs, happy and sad, hungry and “pao pao”, contentment and disappointment, Taylor Swift and Hello Pandas, besties and haters, shopping and burning out the wallet, not-so-many hellos and too much of goodbyes, love and recently, heartbreak.

The five stages of grief…denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Yes, it’s a cycle. :) I won’t deny that I’m not going through it. ~~I think I’m in “Acceptance”.~~ Well, I don’t exactly know which stage I’m in…yet. I’ll come to it soon. I can’t pretend I’m okay, cause I’m not. But I’ll get through it and things happen for a reason and that I should embrace this change. And feel what I should feel…cause it’s important.

Been playing a few songs on repeat today, one of them, “Picture to Burn”… There’s always a Taylor Swift song for my moment. :)
”Watch me strike a match on all my wasted time,
As far as I’m concerned, you’re just another picture to burn.”

I think caught a cold, fever…Bieber fever. He looks better with his hair cut now, really. Or maybe it was his oh-so-wow ~~Abigail~~ abs. Oh shit.

Denial.

It’s not dead!

2009-12-08T00:47:00.001+08:00

So. Where have I been all this while?
It’s…er…well…a long story. Anyways, I think it’s really awesome to be back again and I hope you all will enjoy reading…again! And WELCOME BACK! :)

Hmmm…I’m gonna blog about today. And what’s on today? It’s Michelle Paulsen’s Sweet Sixteen!
And what happened? So…a few of us (Aun Hua, Shuana, Kitkit, Dillon & I) got together and surprised her with the help of her parents and her sister.
Well. She teared.
As usual, Shuana the Banana will be the first to ~~force us~~ suggest that we take pictures ~~otherwise known as camwhore in her world~~.
So here are some of the pictures.

And no, that’s NOT Michelle. :D

Now, that is Michelle the Birthday Girl!

Happy Birthday, Michelle! And, thank you to Mich’s daddy for treating us dinner! Hope you like your present! :D

P.S : Dear best friend, now that I trust you more than ever, please promise me that you WON’T do it again!

…You walk around here thinking you're not pretty,
But that's not true, 'cause I know you…
Tied Together with a Smile by Taylor Swift

Defending Myself

2009-05-08T18:44:00.003+08:00

If you have read my previous post, the one about my teacher pinching me, that’ll be good. If not, go read it.

I realised that my principal, can’t really speak English. No kidding people. I spoke to her in English and she replied in Malay Language. And it was totally irrelevant to what I said. Haha. I’m so mean to post about her “dirty little secret” on my blog. I always thought that all principals can speak English but I guess I was wrong. She let me down.

Anyways, I went to the office to see her today to tell her about the pinching thingy and here’s what she said that I felt is kinda weird. I’m gonna translate it to English. It's not word for word, but that what she said.

“It’s normal for a teacher to pinch a student until it leaves a mark. Sometimes, even I accidentally pinch my student too hard until it leaves a mark. But I did it out of the love for my students. And I believe that Puan Suryani did it because she loves you all. Even as a mother, I sometimes pinch my kids until it leaves a mark because I love them”, my principal ‘quoted’.

Then I showed my principal my bruise, then she said “Tak nampak lah. Mana ada?” (means can’t see. where’s it?) I was wondering of she was blind or…well…yeah…blind.

Just to let you know, my mum has NEVER pinched me. The most was that she chasing me with a cane…~~and me, trying to snatch it until one day I was locked outside the house~~. And mind you, that was back then, when I was 5 or so. My mum has not pinched, caned, hit, slap or did anything to me that left a mark since I entered Primary school (thank goodness!).

So, who is she to pinch me? Who is she to pinch me until it left a mark? If teachers could pinch students, why can't students pinch teachers? So what if I am her student, she was given no lisence to "abuse" her students in any way...not even emotionally.

I told mummy today, and she was mad! (surprisingly!) I didn’t expect that reaction from her though. She was mad…like really mad. She said I should’ve called her as soon as she pinched me. Damn it, I didn’t.

* * *

Pinch Me Not

2009-05-06T19:09:00.005+08:00

I DON’T PINCH and I HATE to be pinched. Call me bimbo, princess-y or whatever but I HATE it. Yes. I hate pinches. And the ”best” thing was that I got ‘em today, from a teacher. Why did she pinch me? Cause I did not bring my Malay Literature book, Anak Laut. And why didn’t I bring it? Cause I couldn’t find it, and I didn’t have time to get a new one. But whatever it is…she shouldn’t have pinched me so hard. It hurts. That’s not the point. I’m not mad that she pinched me, I’m mad that she pinched me till there’s a mark. I’m not sure if it’s a bruise or something but there IS a MARK.

While she was in action pinching other students.
Btw, her name is Suryani binti Ismail.
From SMK Bandar Utama.
For your information, she's also the Penolong Kanan of the school...

Told you there’s a mark!
I know it’s not a BIG thing…but, is this right?
Is this what the the teachers are trained to be?
Aren’t the teachers suppose to be our “role models”?
Do you even bother? :D

Somehow, there’s this little devil in me
wishing that she’d get into trouble one day.
Or someone would report this about her… :D
Oh! Her daughter, Fatin Asyifak,
is in the same class as I am.
I think she marks our Malay Language exam papers,
therefore, wouldn’t she be bias?
At least a LITTLE?

* * *

*ran down to Bio Lab*
..No sign of her..
*ran down to staff room*
..No sign of her..
*ran up*
”Victim found!!”

Me : Teacher, teacher…Jason and Dillon fighting upstairs!
Teacher : Why? Why they fight?
Me : I dunno, teacher. They’re fighting upstairs. Faster go!"
Teacher : Aiyo. Why they fight?
Me : I don’t know, teacher. Just faster walk.
Teacher : Okay okay!
*walks faster*

Reaching back to the class…

”SURPRISE!”

Happy ~~Sweet 16~~

Awesome 26th Birthday!

(Sorry, I revealed your age! :D)

Miss Bong Mui Mui

Class teacher
+
Biology teacher

Sorry for the blur picture. :D

Tagline : I not think so!
:D

Makan time!

After eating, this is what we did to her.
I know…we’re mean!
BUT
That is 4 Adil.

Ready

Get set

then…GO!

P.S : It’s a Tiramisu cake from Secret Recipe.

…through timeless words and priceless pictures,
We'll fly like birds not of this earth…
A Beautiful Mess by Jason Mraz

Aby, Here I Come!

2009-05-05T20:56:00.001+08:00

Yeap. It’s here again. And NO it’s not that time of the month. Just…zits. I’m actually quite used to it but not this time, cause there are currently one, two, three, four, five…Five very obvious zits on my face. It’s not the time of the month yet (at least not for me :D) but I’m having so many zits, so, weather, I’m blaming it on you.

It’s hot nowadays, ain’t it? I mean, it’s REALLY HOT! No arguments about that. I’m sick cause it’s the heat ~~and my bad immune system~~. :D I think the weather is angry. I don’t fancy zits…(who does?). This is how I got ‘em (I think!) ;

. Weather . Hot . Oily face . Many sweat :D . Dirty face . No cleanser . Even more oil . Pimples .

* * *

Today at school we did a Biology experiment. To test the effects of substrate concentration on the activity of salivary amylase. Please don’t ask me what it means. I won’t be able to explain exactly. Note to self : Read up! But it was fun though.

Starting…

Something plus some other thing
equals to this.

Shaun should stop eating!

Shaun and the stopwatch.

Oh! This was during Chemistry.
Iodine.
Teacher asked me to wash my hands with SOAP when she knew.
So weird.
I always thought that iodine is…’safe’.

…And I thought that bein' strong,
Meant never losin' your self-control…
Tonight I Wanna Cry by Keith Urban

Remember To Eat

2009-05-04T16:37:00.004+08:00

Have you ever forgotten to eat? Or maybe…you were doing something so important that you just wanted to finish it, then sleep? The only thing that comes between eating and me is sleep…and sometimes, laziness. :) I’m a pig, I know.

Went makan (eat) yesterday with Mum, the “all-famous” pastor of ze house (Desmond), his brother & wife, his nephew, Jothan and Miss Madam G. Mama. Where? Kepong. There’s this place by the name Yuen Kee.

Too lazy to post everything up!

After the “Mummy, it’s yummy!” dinner (lame!), we went to this place called Kei Tak Sek for dessert. And Kei Tak Sek in English means “remember to eat”. The dessert there is fine. I like the Sago Loh. And the Tong Yuen (glutinous rice balls)…Yums… BUT one thing about the Tong Yuen is that the filling (black sesame) is a little too crushed.

No. 22, Jalan SS2 / 63, 47300, PJ, Selangor, Malaysia.
03-78772499

Mango Loh, Red Bean Loh and Strawberry Loh
Sago with blended ice and it’s respective fruits.

A lil pricy though.

My STRAWBERRY loh.

* * *

Anyways, I’m ill today! I think it’s the weather. It’s so hot nowadays. GLOBAL WARMING! We ~~should~~ must save the earth lah! Back to where I was, I’m ill, so I didn’t go to school, then mum brought us for makan again. This time it’s Dim Sum. Yums… I didn’t manage to capture some of the things that we ordered cause I was so busy munching away. And I forgot to take a picture of the shop, so here’s the address :

Restoran Jin Xuan Hong Kong Sdn. Bhd.

No. 59, 61 & 63, Jalan SS22 / 19,
Damansara Jaya,
47300 Petaling Jaya,
Selangor, Malaysia.
Contact Number: 03-77296866

Oh…before looking at the pictures, Dim Sum literally means Touch Heart. It is a Chinese cuisine which involves a wide range of light dishes served alongside Chinese tea. Dim Sum is usually linked with the older tradition of Yum Cha (means drinking tea). The items are usually served in a small steamer basket or on a small plate.

Prawns inside. I don’t know what’s it called.
As long as it’s yummy. :)

The steamed rice roll with shrimps.

Also known as Chee Cheong Fun.

Ze porridge.

It’s nice, but a bit too salty.

This is DA BOMB! It’s YUMMAY!

Called the sticky glutinous rice.
In Cantonese, Lo Mai Kai.

I like to eat this, but I find that the filling (pork) is too big.

Anyways, there’s soup inside.

Therefore they are called the ‘soup dumplings’.

In Mandarin, it’s Xiao Long Bao.

Ha Gao (in Cantonese)
…Shrimp Dumplings…

This is my all time favourite.

Mmm…

Egg Tart

People, you ~~have to~~ MUST try this when you’re there.

It’s AWESOME!
Psst... We packed another 4 pieces home!

The PRICE is reasonable...5 of us for about MYR70+.

BUT

one thing bad about this place is that
they do not serve dessert on weekdays, just weekends.

AND

if you wanna try out this place,
try to go on a weekday
Reason 1 : A LOT less crowded
Reason 2 : Less noise
Reason 3 : Your order comes WAY FASTER!
Reason 4 : It's easier to find a parking space

P.S : I think I have mentioned PASTOR earlier in the post (paragraph 2). He is NOT a pastor and…well, it’s just, I don’t want to call him UNCLE cause he’s not my uncle. He’s my mum’s other half and her “husband” but is not my father. So yeah…I don’t know what to call him…ANY IDEA, ANYONE? :D

…A life goes by,
Romantic dreams must die…
So Close by Jon McLaughlin

Over It

2009-05-03T22:25:00.005+08:00

Know the song Over It by Katharine McPhee? No? You can watch it HERE! Click
it! Well, if you know the song, watch the video below.

I believe that Katharine McPhee (Runner-Up of American Idol Season 5) can do so much more than what she is given. The pop songs that she sings like Love Story, is so not her. Yes! No doubt that some of the songs are nice. But think, she can do WAY better than that!

She should be given nicer, slower songs...

Oh well, hope ya'll enjoyed it.

* * *

I forgot to blog about this yesterday.

Okay.

Hmmm...I asked Lynnette this question yesterday.

"What's the lightest gas on Earth?"

I thought she'd say, Helium. (Since I was holding a balloon)

She surprised me with the answer, "Oxygen!"

I STARED at her and LAUGHED!

Correct answer : Hydrogen
Helium is usually used to replace hydrogen.
This is because hydrogen is "flammable".

* * *

Dear Lord,
Maybe this isn't the right time,
I know you're telling me that it's a lil too early,
But I'll wait, Lord,
I will.

P.S : Next post would be about...food. I'm too tired for it now.

...You to me and me to you,
wake your dream, walk or stand...
Connected by Katharine McPhee

Stinky Snooker Club

2009-05-03T00:50:00.005+08:00

Went to Uptown McD's today at 4. After that, caught a cab to 1 Utama. Only two of us went, cause Yi May didn't wanna come! There are some things that I would LOVE to blog about!

1 st : Lynnette TORE a bag that I wanted to buy! And it costs MYR20.
Yes! She did. There was sales at this stall, then I took the bag and I wanted to buy it! BUT there was this part on the bag that I didn't like, it was sticking out. So Lynnette tried to take it out. But she accidentally TORE it out. Leaving a BIG HOLE on the bag. :D We couldn't stop laughing! I just put the thingy in, hanged the bag back then walked away, laughing! I’m so EVIL!

2 nd : She can't pronounce PRIORITY!
prahy-awr-i-tee
Yesh! That is how we are suppose to pronounce it! Miss Lynnette's version was “prahy-raw-ree-tee”.

3 rd : Don't wear heels when you're out with Lynnette.
She told me today, when anyone go out with her, don't wear heels (for some...un-help-able reason). XD

4 th : OSC Stinks
After our Carls Jr. session, we met up with Matt and then decided to play Snooker. So we went to One Snooker Club at OU and it's STINKY! All the smokers...Eee...

PRO! (Looks pro only!)

5 th : Matt ~~can’t~~ CAN cam-whore
Haha. Matt was cam-whoring with Lynnette! Amazing stuff. Haha. I always thought he's the COOL guy, you know..the ones who DOES NOT cam-whore! He's FUN!

See? He IS pro.

6 th : Lynnette has small feet and small mouth!
Her shoe size...is 3 1/2. Yes...3 and a half. XD Small mouth. Very small. Why? Cause...

She had to split the burger into two.

So she just ate HALF!

See? She left that!

7 th : I haven't gotten a chance to eat ICE-CREAM!

I have been saying this so many times, so many days. I still haven't gotten my chance to eat ice-cream yet. I WANT ICE-CREAM!

We bought balloon! It was for charity!

I just HAD TO cam-whore with it!

Super ~~act~~ cute!

I think Nette is my cam-whore partner!

I told you so!

Haha. I shall not comment about this.

…I promise not to miss you now,
And try to hide the truth inside…
I Just Can’t Live A Lie by Carrie Underwood

X - Men Origins : Wolverine

2009-05-02T13:20:00.010+08:00

Nikkil texted me the other day and asked if i wanted to go out for a movie. Since I haven't been out for quite sometime and I miss them (ex-form 5's), without hesitance, I agreed.

It was quite an embarrassment for me after I found out that we were gonna watch "X-Men Origins : Wolverine". Why, you may ask. See, my childhood life was...boring. I actually sort of...dislike it. Well, I had no internet back then. Plus, my siblings were not there to take me out for movies and stuff like that (feel bad, Jie!). Ugh...and one more thing...I never really liked Mr.-and-Miss-comic-book-heroes.
Note : I have not a single comic book! I didn't even read my sister's collection of Doraemon comic books.

Oh well, so when we (Sonia, Nikkil, Jia Shen, Crystal, Leong Leong, Matt, Adrian, Thomas, Me...) went into the cinema, all settled down. Nikkil turned to me and asked, "Did you watch the first two X-Men movies?". I hesitated to answer...but in the end I thought, so what?. I smiled and said, "I actually don't know what's X-men." I thought that he looked a little disappointed in a way. Then he explained to me about X-Men and all...haha. Thanks, Nikkil!

The movie was kinda good though. Except that the graphics are kind of...fake and exaggerating. :D 8/10 I give!
Note : Gambit is hot!

So after movie, we went to the arcade. And guess what? Sonia and I played some racing game! Yes I did! I shall not comment about it. :D Damansara Jaya was our next destination, for Malaysia's signature, RAMLEE BURGER! Yums!

There you go Leong Leong, your piccha!

Leong Leong, Adrian and I

Right after that, Leong Leong sent Adrian and I back home. Thanks ya! And..as you can see, we "cam-whored" in the car.

The Carrie Underwood version of How Great Thou Art (a Christian Song) is beyond beautiful!



..That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sins...
How Great Thou Art

Many Many Fun!

2009-04-30T16:39:00.014+08:00

Random shot while in the cab...

So...it's been more than a week since I updated this blog of mine! Here's an update!

Woke up late today. And was having a bad rash day. But good thing was, I didn't scratch. I told myself, it's NOT itchy. And I prayed, of course. I Plurk!-ed. And was taking my own sweet time.

*fast forward*

Went to Botak's near Pelangi Utama, near my school...and well, I pretty much don't have the address BUT I think we know where is it or...not. :) I'll try to describe it. It's at the shop lot next to Pelangi Utama, near SMK Bandar Utama, near Kampung Kayu Ara...and yes! It's in PJ! As i was saying, if you're looking for a place to eat in the morning before work, that'll be a good place. And remember this, in the MORNING (and only in the morning)! It's hot and fresh. At about 8-ish. That's a good spot to go to. Nasi Lemak, Fried Vermicelli and the list goes on. Try not to got there for Lunch...breakfast would be BEST!

Reasonable price. No worries!

Left Botak at...

Then reached school at about 8.25 a.m. and met Crystal Chai, so we walked in together-gether. Choir practice started then went to the SJKC Yuk Chai for The Competition!

We ALL were stunned by SMDJ's performance...I mean it!

Crystal and Khai asyik (always) pose je.

Mr. Cheif Judge giving comments before announcing the results.
1st place : SMDJ
2nd place : SMK BUD4
3rd place : SMK Katolik

Michelle Paulsen!

Sonny-boo!

Joanna...!

Mingy looks like he is getting pau-ed (robbed?? i don't know the word).

Sonia and I!

Tiara Ooi, our lovely pianist!

Shuana, the Iguana!
P.S : She's got brains..in her...... (inside joke!)

Mingy and...yours truly, again.
Like this pic...the angle is nice.

Those are Ming Yue's fingers...and his palm... (Duh!)
Shuananana, "WHAT WERE YOU DOING, MAN??"

Picture of the day!

Michael, you weren't suppose to be there! Ahaha.
But I guess that was the WHOLE POINT, right? :D

After going back to school, 12 of us went McDonald's...and couldn't find a place to sit.
So...we took some pictures at the Kiddy Playground upstairs.

Yeah, that's what I meant.

"Who's that?"

*
**
*
**
*

It's Mr. Gentleman, Michael C.!!!
After lunch at McD's, Michael and I decided to grab a cab home.

And Mike, in case you didn't notice,
I was cam-whoring while we were in the cab.
Too bad you were sitting in front!
XD

I had a FUN day today. Except for the fact that I had to ignore the itch! :)
Today was cool! Although we didn't win in the choir competition, doesn't mean that we have to CRY...or feel sad about it! :)

Met a lot of people today! But didn't have time to take pics with them. Sigh. But there's always another time...right? :D

P.S : Thanks Mike for stopping the cabS while I was sitting there.
And thanks Mike, for walking me home after that.
And "thanks" too, for making me feel so bad! Mike, you know you want IT!

...Honey honey, let me feel it, honey honey,
Honey honey, dont conceal it, honey honey...
Mamma Mia by ABBA

Think Back and Regret

2009-04-21T17:00:00.010+08:00

After school today, Crystal Chai, Mingy and I went to SMDU to "observe" their Leo meeting. They're more "disciplined" in a way (compared do some BU Leos, YES they are!).

Oh well. They had election today. Lion Chu (their Leo Advisor) was there. And it felt kinda nice being there. Haha. Met a few friends there. Mingy and Crystal were like saying "Hi!" to practically everyone. And I was...well...lost in a way. Wanted to ask Yee Ling to stay but I decided not to cause she isn't a Leo anyways. Haha. By the way, a big congratulations to Joshua (the new president of SMDU Leo) and the Board of Directors for this fiscal year (09/10).

This is a really short post and...I'm just gonna post some random pictures. (:

Had Softball Competition in school today.

And DJ team was there. So I met my long lost brother, Kok Weng.
Miss him "cow cow"!

And my long lost good friend whom I use to call everyday.
Amanda Fan.
I still remember her house phone number!
Those were the days, primary school...
Miss those days so much.

I like this picture somehow.
(:

Sometimes, some things are just meant to be kept to yourselves.
But this one is just irresistable!

P.S : I'm still feeling emo today. Aargh! I hate being emo. Someone cheer me up!

...You know exactly what to do,
So that I can't stay mad at you...
Hate That I Love You by Rihanna & Ne-Yo

#100 About Food

2009-04-20T20:55:00.013+08:00

The title of my post says it all. This is my 100th post and I'm talking about FOOD! Yes! You certainly got that right, FOOD!! Yeah man! I love it when I post about nice things to eat...yums...

Anyways, I went tuition just now, and Miss Madam G. Mama came about 40 minutes late. ): I was waiting and waiting by the roadside ALONE! And the sun seemed to set faster than it normally does. I am usually fine with it, but today, somehow, it was scary. Then suddenly, a passer-by said "Hi!" to me. Adds to the fear. Sighs. The sense of insecurity was there, somehow. That was when I needed a hug! But I was alone... So I was just standing there...looking out what and who's coming, keeping an eye on everything, you know. Haha. Then Miss Madam G. Mama came at last...

Lot 1-1, BU4, Oasis Complex.

The okay-tasting wild mushroom soup.
It's actually kinda nice, just that they blended the mushroom too much.
So there's no chewy chewy and chunky chunky stuff.
And I love chewy and chunky!

That's my carbonara.
Comes in a BIG portion.
I was FILLED with food.
Rating 6 half/10.

Gmama's Pan Fried Butter Fish
Haha. It tastes okay.
A lil burnt but overall, it's nice.

Thanks G. Mama for bringing me there! (:
Love you!!

...Only a woman can love you so much,
Give you her life and give you her trust...
Only A Woman Like You by Michael Bolton

Everything

2009-04-20T14:29:00.007+08:00

I haven't been updating often lately. And sorry for that. I have been kind of busy.

Just a lil update.
We didn't get through the octofinals in debate against SMK Assunta with the motion, This house would link developmental aid to reduction in emissions. Quite sad actually. But, it's over. Plus, SMK Bandar Utama (my school) is the only school in the Damansara Zone which got into the Octofinals, okay! For me, it's considered quite good cause our school has no professionals to coach us or whatsoever. Also, we DID NOT practice.

Haha. Through this debate, I actually think that it was a pretty good experience although I only had an average of 2 hours of sleep every night for the whole week. Haha. I got to know Sonson and Mingy better. I learnt that Sonson is a Sleepy Head, that Mingy can write two 8 minutes essay in less than 2 hours...that's not all...but I'm just too lazy.

* * *

Saturday was Anugerah Cemerlang (award ceremony?).
And it was exhausting but fun, in a way.
Had to go for Choir, Choral Speaking.
And prize for PMR results and NiE award.
I think we did pretty well.
Except for the fact that not many people attended.

* * *

Woke up on time today! Haha. Class today has been pretty boring as usual. But I came home early cause I had a bad headache thanks to the REALLY HOT weather in the morning during assembly. Sonson didn't come to school today! Haha. Why? I think he's still stoning from whatever he drank yesterday or maybe he was just too tired. And Ron didn't come too! I'm not sure why though. Dillon didn't go to school cause he is sick. Mingy didn't go to school cause he WAS having food poisoning or something.

G. Mama fetched me back and before that, we went makan makan! We went to this place called the Cha Cha Pan Mee Restaurant (i think that's the name). It's at Aman Suria. Below Shall We Dance Studio. And PLEASE don't eat there. Don't even try.

Reasons not to go ;
1. Slow service
2. Rude waitress
3. Expensive and it's NOT nice
4. Cause I said so! (kidding!)

I almost screamed at the girl. But I told myself to chill and relax. And I made a quick prayer! Haha. Good achievement, Abigail! *pats back*

* * *

I'm not really the emo-ing type of person.
But I have to admit now that I AM EMO-ING!
Why?
I don't know. I just feel sad since just now. Sighs.

...You are my purpose,
You're everything...
Everything by Lifehouse

After Debate

2009-04-14T16:44:00.006+08:00

My hands were literally shaking when I was standing up to present my speech.

I have to say I was alright with my performance, not the best, not even good, just alright.

Oh well...with not much of a rebuttal, we still won.

No pictures...sorry. Will take tomorrow when we go for the second round cause I brought my camera there...BUT I forgot the battery. *"smart" me*

They expect us to do research and tomorrow morning will be the day that we have to present it. What the heck?

I didn't really wanna go at first, but...heck, I shall give it a shot. Shouldn't I?

We're always the opposition...don't know why.
Previous motion : This house would not experiment on animals for human benefits.
Next motion : This house will legalise voluntary active euthanasia.

* * *

Dear Mom,
Thank you for the discouragements.
Thank you for having me in this world.
I finally realize that in life,
I don't need encouragements.
All I need is my imagination to make myself believe that
you are supporting me, deep inside.
I don't want to care,
I don't want to know,
Whether you support me,
Cause since I was a little girl,
I have been living in my world of imaginations,
That you made me breakfast, before school,
That you support me, in whatever I do,
That you have picked me up, when I fell,
That you love me, more than anything,
That you congratulated me, when I won debate.
All I want, is just to be smiled at when I come home.
All I want, is just that little smile.
Is that not possible?

I wished she didn't congratulate me with "Oh.".
Not "OH!", just "Oh"..

...It's one in a million,
The chances of feeling the way we do...
Can I Have this Dance by Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron

Debate

2009-04-14T09:43:00.002+08:00

I'm at Mingy's house blogging and Sonson is sitting next to me playing with the "egg" thingy.

Going for debate at HELP University College later.

Nervous-ness will attack soon..!

This Ain't A Fairytale

2009-04-12T16:56:00.014+08:00

People always say, at the end if the rainbow, there's a pot of gold.

Ladies and men,
There is NO gold at the end of the rainbow...although I wish there was.

I am no one to say that there is gold at the end of each rainbow because I am not the princess in a fairytale, in fact, WE don't live in a fairytale where spells and charms are reality.
Sometimes, we just have to accept what is realm and what is not...even though we don't want to.
That's life!

* * *

Was at Ming Yue's last night.
Then I told him something that is very embarassing.

I told him that I didn't know UNICORNS didn't exist until last year.
Then he gave me that whattheheckareyoucrazyorstupid look.
So I said, "Horses DO exist, and unicorns are just white horses plus a HORN!"

Do unicorns exist?
"The Unicorn is one of the most mysterious of all animals. It has been glorified in folk tales, songs, poems, and stories for centuries; and it remains one of the great "unsolved mysteries" of the world. Despite the widely held belief in its existence, it has not been seen in centuries. The only consistent fact is that a Unicorn has a single horn in the middle of its forehead."
The above is an extraction from here.
Click for more info.

...I'm not a princess,
This ain't a fairy tale...
White Horse by Taylor Swift

Dear Friend...

2009-04-12T11:00:00.009+08:00

To a friend,

I have a life, if you don't notice.
I live the life and I lead the life.
So, please do understand, I like my life.
I like it the way I want it to be.
You're suppose to support me.
And stand by me.

I need courage now,
I need you to lend an ear,
But you aren't here when I need you, why, friend?
Don't worry, when you're down, I won't repeat your mistake.

P.S : Love your life the way you want it. Cause life is a journey where there's no turning back.

...I won't be afraid, no I won't be afraid,
Just as long as you stand, stand by me...
Stand by me by Ben E. King

Students' Day Out

2009-04-09T18:41:00.011+08:00

"I have ample time, lie down first lah."

Those were the words that marked the beginning of my day. Then, bathing came later on. Entered the car, reached school. "Your name, please?", a prefect said to me. I was LATE! Walked to the canteen, then Madam Wong was waving to me, "Faster, faster!". Without much delay...I RAN... Entered her car, listened to the radio.......and chattered of course. With Mingy with me at the backseat and Ronald in front, who wouldn't say a word?

Reached Bukit Bintang Boys' School and we were just on time before the registration ends. Sat in places and waited for it to start. "I now invite the 6th speaker today, to present his speech." And that was not me of course. Ming Yue was the 6th speaker for the day. He looked nervous on stage...he CRUMPLED his PALM CARD! Oh my gosh! Then later on, when he needed it, he opened it with the oh-so-weird face.

After the 7th speaker, we all had refreshments while waiting for the Impromtu Speech part to start. Ladies and gentlemen, it is not Glass Noodles, Yellow Noodles refreshments, it was the outmost delicious thing...

Homemade CUPCAKES...and more stuff of course.

Talked to some contestants, then chattered with Madam Wong. She's quite funny actually. (: And oh, she gave me the contact number of a swimming coach... I found out that Madam Wong only learned how to swim when she was 24. *wink*

After that, it was the Impromtu part and Being a Malaysian was the topic of the day.

This picture shows Ming Yue...during his Impromtu speech.
And he used lines from Choral Speaking...like we always do..

After that, we went to...this place called Jaya One. And just for the sake of it, I'd like to say that...

This is my favourite restaurant...

We were looking for a place for lunch (and to skip a lil bit of school, of course). We wanted to go Secret Recipe but decided that we should go to...

PLEASE DO NOT EAT THE CAESAR SALAD IN WENDY'S!
Thank you. (:

Madam Wong Lee Ling

Look at it! The arrows going one way and another.
At the car park place in Jaya One...

Later on, we went back for Choir in school and...I have to say thank you, Sonia! Haha. Why? Cause she was my "lyric holder!" And thanks to that...I didn't really screw up.

P.S : Mingy and Ron, imagine...THAT person...and womanizer.

...Even the best fall down sometimes,

Even the wrong words seem to rhyme...
Collide by Howie Day

My Dreams of Becoming...

2009-04-07T21:17:00.006+08:00

an actress? A writer? Or a model, you might say? What about a designer, a fashion designer... Or perhaps...just a housewife?

People of today,
Recently, people have thrown unexpected questions at me.

"Wah! So tall already! Are you a model?"

"What has your mum been feeding you with?"

"Which college are you in ah?"

"So what are you working as now?

"Miss, do you want to apply a credit card?"

To those who said those words above, thanks for making me feel old...or optimistically, matured. Most typical Malaysian high school student wants to grow up faster to take a tour in the "working world". Loving high school is what I have been doing and loving to do. Recently, I just wished that time would take me back to Primary school where I had so much fun (throwing Nick's bag in the pond! Sorry, Nick! :D). And back then, life was more of something called carefree... It was all just about having fun and I didn't even bother to study (especially Science). I hated Science back then...cause...I was pretty much a nincompoop.

As a teenager now, I have thought about my future ...and...when I grow up, I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star. Sorry...I got carried away there. Oh well... I honestly want to be famous. I want my name to be known by people, I want to be someone influential. I want my name to be in history. I want to be remembered. But will that ever happen?

For now, I want to be an air stewardess but the fear to swim, I have to overcome. I haven't pretty much decided what I want to be cause this time, I think it's best to see where the wind blows me to. I'd like to take Mass Communication though. Better still, open a company of my own. I have not much of a direction...but I have my goals.

...You are fine, you are sweet,
Fine, I'm still a bit naive with my heart...
Say OK by Vanessa Anne Hudgens

Rabbit Tan and more...

2009-04-06T21:35:00.008+08:00

There's this fellow standing next to me wondering who is my boyfriend...trying to figure out. After many tries and guesses, I still told him the same thing, "I got no boyfriend lah!". And there he goes, continuing his search...and guess. First, he thought it was Adam cause we were chatting on MSN. After that, he thought it was Mingy cause he saw my Facebook. Then he thought it was Ian cause he was commenting on my status in Facebook.

Failures after failures, he still doesn't wanna give up. And tries harder. Hmmm...what can I say about this? I have absolutely no comments...

If you're wondering who I have been talking about...it's my cousin. WHO? My cousin. WHO WHO? Bryan Woo. Yes! That's him. Haha. He's still trying his best and telling me i-don't-think-it's-true STORIES. Oh well...HE IS HIM!

Our lame session together
He asked me if I had a chance to give a name besides Bryan Woo what would I name him. Then I told him I will name him Lion Woo. He says he wants to name me Rabbit Tan (cause I look like a rabbit. DO I?) OR Girraffe Tan (cause I'm LONG...not tall...he specifically said long) OR Tiger Tan (cause I am very fierce).

P.S : This fellow Chinese educated 12 year old beloved cousin is humming to Taylor Swift's Love Story. Amazing...he should mix with me...more!

...You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes...
Love Story by Taylor Swift

Still Tired...

2009-04-01T21:51:00.009+08:00

I just came back about an hour ago from the "Leo" meeting I mentioned earlier in the other post. Well, I didn't exactly come back straight from the meeting...I went to check out the dance studio with Matthaeus who is a friend, and ex-school mate and a Leo member of Tropicana Unity which happens to be our sister club. Haha. He was looking about for BREAKING and POPPING. While I was browsing for LATIN and HIP-HOP...I am really interested in pole dance. And I think most people (not all) are having this misconception of pole dancing. I don't think there's anything wrong with pole dancing...it's a dance and it's a GOOD workout. What's better is that the classes are CLOSED! Haha. Only girls are allowed in the class and they pull down the blinds so other people won't be able to see. That's...good. Right? If I were to start my classes, I have to reschedule my tuition classes. Lol. Thanks, Matt for sending me home!

Back to Leo.
Had meeting with Mr. Lion Kenneth-the-big-boss and a few other Leo's of the Sister club of my Leo club at McD's. Went pretty well though. It is just that we have so many upcoming projects that are kind of new to me. Best part is that Adelynn, the Immediate Past President of my school's Leo Club didn't tell me the things that she's suppose to tell me...oh well...screw it. I found out anyways. Sometimes, some things just don't go your way...

I gotta go finish my Public Speaking script...

P.S : I'm looking for Additional Mathematics tutor. Please recommend.

...And when you mean it, I'll believe it
If you text it, I'll delete it...
7 Things by Miley Cyrus

Rest...

2009-04-01T16:43:00.009+08:00

Yes! Rest, oh, rest, where art thou?

I need to go on a vacay! Haha. Nah, I just need to rest. For the past few days, I had no time for afternoon naps (due to unforseen circumstances). The "best" part is that I have too much to do (that's when I wish we have 48 hours a day). I have regret, I have to admit. I regret joining public speaking, I regret staying in this school. Life is bothering me now with everything so hectic and "in-the-rush" mood. By the way, is the in-the-rush mood the IN thing nowadays? Everyone is rushing everywhere. Sighs. I just finished my Leo meeting today. Handled it without Lion Kenneth (his car brokedown) and Adelynn (damn pissing off). And the meeting sucked like...damn sucky. Plus, I have to go for another Leo "private" meeting with Lion Kenneth and a few other Leo members in about half an hour time, which will be 5.20 p.m.. And yes! It will be more tiring. Sighs.

Life, oh, life.
Just like school I attend everyday, my life needs recess too!

...And I know no matter where love takes me to,
A part of me will always be with you...

One Royal Family of Lameness

2009-03-29T21:33:00.015+08:00

When I talk about lame, 98% of the time it's not the crippled man. And this time, is not part of the 2%.

Well. Shuana and I have had a "voting" session to decide who is the Lame King, Queen, Prince and Princess of 4 Adil (our class in high school).

Below are the results ;

The King

Lame Jason Wong is the name of this man.
He is the lame-est of the lame.
He can say things that you can never ever imagine would come out from someone's mouth.
And well...sometimes, it just doesn't make any sense.

The Queen

Well...if you look closely enough, that's me.
Yes. Me! Sighs.
Lame Abigail Tan.
I have to admit that I am lame, I am very lame. Why?
Cause I am lame, that's why.

The Prince

His name is Lame Marcus Ong.
Also the Prince of the Lame Family.
Well...There's not much to describe about him as he is indescribably lame!
Haha!

The PrincessWell, the princess is next to the king. Haha.
That's Lame Shuana Yap.
She's my lame partner of all time.
And guess what? She got me involved with something called lame-ness.

My conversation with Shuana ;

You know how we call people the Lame-o when they're lame?

......ya-da, ya-da

Me : Banana, you know what? I think we can be the lame duo.
Shuana : Er. No!
Me : Why no?
Shuana : Cause I'm not lame.
Me : *ignores what she said* You are lame. Anyways, since we're the lame duo, you'll be the LAME and I'll be the O. And when we're together we're the LAME - O Duo. And guess what? We rhyme...
Shuana : *laughs out loud* Abby, you're so lame lah. Anyway, I don't wanna be lame, I'll be the O. Cause when you're not with me, you're still lame and when I'm not with you, I'm just the O which means I won't be lame.

Conversation; me, Shuana, Jason ;

Me : *turns to him* Hey Sonson, you want to go to the concert tomorrow?
Son : What if the concert tomorrow go to you?
Me : *turns away and ignores him while Shuana giggles*

Shuana : Jason you're so lame.

Now that doesn't make sense, does it? Sighs. Some times, some things just don't seem right at all

Random-ness ;

Me : Teacher, you don't love us anymore. You ask other people to come but you didn't ask us.
Teacher : Where got? I ask you all last week already mah.
Me : But you never ask us today.
Teacher : Okay, okay. Can ALL of you come?
Me : Yay! Teacher love us!

It's weird how teacher can be so patient with me. She hasn't scold anyone before. And if a teacher hasn't scold me before, it's pure weird.

It's so unbelievable how we are so lame. When four of us are hanging out together, it's disaster. But it's such a beautiful disaster that teacher don't scold us.

P.S : This is my lame-est post so far.

...if I could hold on, through the tears and the laughter,
Would it be beautiful? Or just a beautiful disaster...
Beautiful Disaster by Kelly Clarkson

Michael C. : One Year Older

2009-03-29T02:44:00.033+08:00

After dinner at the Yong Tau Fu's at Kota Damansara, we went to :

Mike's House
Michael Cheong is 17, one year older.
And that was where we celebrated his one-year-older day.

In accordance of appearance of heads from the left (what am i babbling about?) :
Me, Yik Han, Nicole, Mingy, Mike, Khai, Crystal, Sonia, Matt
And cake.
Thanks Auntie for taking the picture!

His birthday cake, obviously.

Mike and his backside buddy!

Half way blowing off the candles.

Dracula? Batman pose? (does batman even pose like that?)

That's Khai! And me..
Felt so stupid while playing PS2.
And it was with HIM so it's like...stupider.

While waiting for the cake, he took off the ribbon from the present.

Mike says he LOVES the present! I hope he really does. Nicole (Mike's sis) took a video of Micheal's present-opening session. Hope she sends it to me. Mingy, Crystal and I shared the present. Crystal picked it and of course not excluding yours truly...

I actually wrapped Mike's present with newspaper with Mingy's approval. And Yik Han asked me this, "Abigail, why you wrap his present with newspaper?". So I replied, "Other people off lights in conjunction with the Earth Hour, so I'm also helping by using re-using newspaper." Then Mingy said, "Ya la. Why go buy wrapping paper? He's gonna tear it anyway." So yeah, people, don't have to buy wrapping paper to wrap a present. Just use newspaper. And hey, it is the thought that counts, yes? Moreover, it will save money and contribute to Mother Earth.

Mike's mummy heated the cake (or was it brownie?)
And added some Wall's Vanilla ice-cream with it.
Yummsss...

Lar-lar pose!

A-Bi and A-Yu!

A-Shearn (a.k.a Man of Da Day) and A-Bi

Happy Birthday, Mike!
Whatever happens, you're still older than me!

P.S : Don't know why some of my friend's girlfriends (also some boyfriends) have something against me. And it also includes Mike's. Sighs. ):
Also, I have edited my previous post, more pictures. Do check it out!
To those who off-ed their lights for Earth Hour, GOOD JOB! Love ya'll!

...Everytime I try to fly,
I fall without my wings...
Everytime by Britney Spears

We Are The Champions!

2009-03-25T16:38:00.009+08:00

Wednesday ;

Yes! We did it! We really did! After all the unhappy practices and after all the teasings and the discouragements, we finally could prove it to them that we were GOOD! And YES, we ARE GOOD! In fact, WE OWNED THE STAGE, WE ROCK! WE GOT FIRST PLACE! And that is a fact.

Thank you, honourable judges. I can finally say that all my effort was worth it. And thank you, honourable judges FOR CRUSHING OUR DREAM! I wanted to win to prove that all our effort was worth the while, I wanted to win to prove to those teachers that we are ZE BEST! (although i secretly wished we wouldn't win so that we didn't have to go for practices) And we were ze best. We won, almost. In the end, we got disqualified. We freaking got disqualified! So pissing off. We got the 1st place, but we were DISQUALIFIED! Sigh. It's so disappointing and saddening. The judges did not bother to explain why we didn't get the place. So yeah. We got disqualified cause we had Secondary 5 students in the group. (What the heck?) I knew we were the best. Everyone else (non participants) said so.

Thursday ;

Anyways, whilst eating a quick dinner yesterday, rushing to tuition, I heard the song, "If I were a boy, even just for a day, I'd roll outta bed in the morning and throw on what I wanted and go". Yes, it's my phone. Honestly, I didn't really bother to pick it up cause I was out of time (sorry!). After my "dinner", I grabbed my phone, checked who called. It was Mingy! Called him back right away. I couldn't recall how did the conversation went. But I was HAPPY and SAD at the same time. Haha. Happy cause Mingy told me that we are going to the next choral speaking competition, I think it's the District level this time. I'm sad cause we have practices again. Well, we have to make some sacrifices sometimes, right?

Sorry I can't upload pictures now. No idea why. Will try to upload another time.

...We are the champions, no time for losers,
'Cause we are the champions of the world...

edited ;

Michelle and I

I had to clip my fringe up.
Mr. Eu says so.
Anyways, that's Jane.

Met Daena there too!
She's from DJ!

I never knew Rowan Jet Lee would go for choral speaking...
Actually it's Jetly.

Crystal and Mingy at the canten counter buying Justea.
Here's the reason why I posted this picture.
Crystal had had Mungy follow her to buy the drink because she didn't know where to buy it.
And she has been in the school for a about...3 years and 4 months.

Here's another story.
The smile detector function in my camera wouldn't want to detect my smile.
It didn't detect Crystal's smile either.
So we tried it on Mingy.
And this was the picture.

This is the picture of the week.
Haha. Crystal was stoning while fixing her pull-me hair!

...teen?

2009-03-24T20:39:00.014+08:00

Hi, again. (:

The itchy part...
I'm itchy today!
Why? Maybe 'cause I'm having some allergy thingy to the necklace I wore that day? Or was it 'cause of some food?
Sigh. My neck is red and itchy now. So sad.

Got a new playlist thingy;
Fifteen by Taylor Swift
Happily Never After by PCD (i think!)
Broken Strings by James Morisson and Nelly Furtado
Midnight Bottle by Colbie Callait
Halo by Beyonce

Fav ; Fifteen by Taylor Swift ;
It's a nice song, pretty catchy.
Each chorus as different lyrics...
Other that that, this song does not only refer to fifteen-ers.
This song is a sort-of-Taylor Swift-personal-ish song.
Fifteen years old is just an age that she has gone through all those.
Doesn't matter if you're thirteen or nineteen, it could still happen to you.

Note to self :
You did pretty badly this exam.
You gotta stay strong, Abygayle!
You HAVE TO. You MUST!

...In your life you'll do things greater,
Than dating the boy on the football team...
Fifteen by Taylor Swift

Sushi Zanmai

2009-03-21T00:41:00.005+08:00

After having light dinner at home, I went out to One Utama for another dinner. Supposedly something else but went for something else... Conclusion is that it is complicated. So...don't ask. Haha. Waited for Shuana go back with her to discuss some stuffs. But she forgot about me. ): I almost cried there! Nah. Just kidding. But my "fuse box" almost burst though. Haha. Luckily she came back for me! Or else..........you know. *evil laugh* Went Sushi Zanmai, 1 Utama for "dinner". The food there is reasonably good lah. 7/10 is the rating I'd give.

The normal CLUMSY me.

Lame-ness. Anyway. I feel good today (perhaps yesterday?). Why? Cause I helped a friend to feel better! How? Only she and I will know. (and God, of course). At last, right? But well, hope she'll leave it behind like she said she did. Honestly, I think she's not leaving it behind. I guess it's the right time for her to leave it! Haha.

...Each happy ending,
Is a brand new beginning...
Ever Ever After by Carrie Underwood

Wei Qing: Finally 16

2009-03-20T17:52:00.016+08:00

My boyfriend and I

It was my boyfriend's Sweet Sixteen on the 17th of March! Well...we went out a day later to celebrate it even though it was over. It was karaoke that we did. I had plenty of fun! We went to Redbox, The Curve.

Wait, time for some TRUTH first. That guy, the birthday boy, yeah! He's definitely NOT my boyfriend. I was just kidding. Haha. He's a friend, classmate and my "ji mui" (girlfriend)! And he's not gay!

Seven of us (Wei Qing, Dillon, Shuana, Crystal, Michelle, Jason and I) went out our k-session and also Wei Qing's b'day although there was not any cake. Well...we had meatballs though. It was my first time hanging out with Wei Qing outside of school compound, really. That's so sad of me. Anyways , here it goes.

The one singing alone, there, in the end, that's Sonson (Jason).
Then it's me.
After that, the two posing ones are Michelle and Crystal.
The one texting his girlfriend is Dillon.
Last but not least, it's Birthday Boy, Wei Qing.
Oh! I almost forgot, Shuana. The one who took this picture.

I don't know what was Wei Qing doing.
But I know that Jason was trying to imitate that guy in the video playing the piano.
But look closely, that guy is playing the guitar.

Michelle clearly loves the mic!
And my hair is brown!! (so random!)
And the girl in the purple tee is Shuana.

I told you Michelle LOVES the microphone!

After karaoke-ing. We went to Cineleisure Damansara for a game of pool!
And again, I didn't want to play with Jason. Why? Cause he makes me feel like an idiot.
Haha. After all, I wasn't that bad. (i hope!)

Shuana and Michy left at about 5 o'clock. Then Sonson left too!
So...it was only me, Crystal, Wei Qing and Dillon.
Went Ikea to eat SOME meatballs.
Which in the end turn out to be 40 meatballs all together plus some Salmon thingy that Cryssie ordered.

I was stuffed after that.
That's only 30 meatballs.
Then Crystal went to off to meet her parents.
Wei Qing, Dillon and I went back to Cineleisure to play more pool till we went broke.
Pool is fun especially without Jason around! Muahaha! (kidding!)

Happy 16th Birthday, ji mui!

I don't know why but blogger wouldn't let me upload anymore pics.
Sorry guys.
And I'll update about my camp as soon as I get the pics!
Loves.

...Being with you is so dysfunctional,
I really shouldn't miss you but I can’t let you go...

My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson

Gone!

2009-03-16T10:45:00.005+08:00

Hi people.

I'm going to go soon.
Wednesday!
Yeah. I'll be back then.
Just one day.
I'll update on my camp.
So please do come back!

Loves (:
Abigail

...I never felt this way before
Everything that I do, reminds me of you...

One Generation Older

2009-03-16T00:09:00.009+08:00

On the way

Went to Sitiawan (I think it's in Perak, Malaysia) yesterday. Arrived home about an hour ago. And I'm updating my blog! Haha. Love this!

Anyways.

Sexy Malaysia grapes.

The farm at my relative's house.

I was there yesterday. And there was this CUTE, SMALL and PHASIONABLE baby girl. So I wanted to carry her. Haha. So I did. After that...I felt older. Why? Cause I found out that that baby girl is my cousin's daughter. Which means the baby girl is my NIECE! This means I'm in the auntie club! Sighs. Feel old.

Yeap. That's her. My niece!
Love her. So cute!

...Wherever your heart may lead you,
I will love you the same...

Khai's 17th Birthday!

2009-03-15T01:12:00.008+08:00

Khai Weng had a birthday gathering today, or rather yesterday... Haha. Khai's birthday is on the 12th of March but he celebrated his birthday late this year. I think it was because exams only ended on Friday.

We had barbeque! I didn't eat much though it was quite nice with the honey and all. While eating, we had a barbeque joke session. LAME jokes...but funny. Then someone came but Ming Yue and I forgot to lay the carpet, red carpet (inner joke).

We had the cut-cake ceremony (sounds like a wedding) and sang THE SONG for the birthday boy boy.

This was how he looked when
we were singing the birthday song for him.
Like so shy.

Micheal and Tiara helping to distribute the cake!

Khai, giving his "speech".

Played Taboo after that. Love the game! Haha. Was fun. Micheal claims that he sounds SEXAY! Probably cause of the shouting, not so sure! Haha. But he did though. He had the sexy, manly voice. Oh well... (:

They both were "fighting" to play "Fall for You".
Like usual...

Yes! I can see it too!
But SO WHAT?

One stoning, the other posing.

Crystal and I

Thanks for inviting, Khai.
Loves...

A story to share ;;

Most government schools had already finished our mid term examinations. And this is what I heard from a friend abouot another friend from another school.
A Secondary 4 student, who is a friend of mine. He's REALLY, REALLY smart. And teacher was announcing the results for Additional Mathematics. So teacher called out his name and read his marks, he said, "What, that's all?". He was furious and was breathing so hard like dragon breathing fire. Except that he was breathing saliva! Haha. According to my friend, a few droplets were LEAKING to his chin. And he looked like he could KILL someone. That's scary... But you know what? He had about 70 for that paper.

I was like...I FREAKIN' FAILED!!! And he is complaing about his 70. Haha. I feel so stupid now...like...really stupid. Sighs.

...I'm telling you. things get better through whatever,
If you fall, dust it off, don't let up...

Just Tired

2009-03-13T22:46:00.006+08:00

I'm exhausted today. Don't ask me why cause I don't know either. I think it was cause of lack of sleep yesterday, read through Physics. Haha. Had the paper today and was pretty good I shall say. Physics is not really my kind of thing but...this time, I think it's pretty fine!

There's nothing much to blog about today. Or perhaps it's just cause I'm feeling tired. Sorry.
I'll be updating on Sunday morning I guess.

Loves.

P.S : Thanks for reading, everyone!

Edited ;
Check this out! Tun Mahathir penned his thoughts on his blog that I can't help but to agree with!

...I belong to me,
I'm one, not half of two...

Unlucky Me

2009-03-12T22:37:00.007+08:00

Woke up today, went to school, did my moral paper! And was quite good for me although I didn't really study for it.

Anyways, this is my day of unlucky-ness. Or were they just like that out of serendipaciousness?

Haha. Okay. Early morning, LATE FOR SCHOOL, after recess, LATE FOR EXAM, after school, mentoring took 2 HOURS instead of 1 hour and it gave me SORE THROAT. Then walked to One Utama to print JU Editorial Board Members' (school magazine) tags with Crystal and the printer guy went out for lunch, printer lady resigned so it was the new lady left. After much of WAITING, the lady had to REPRINT cause of her error. And MORE WAITING and still had to REPRINT after that. After that, went to the New Wing taxi stand to wait for Crystal's mum to fetch us but the road WAS BLOCKED. We had to walk ALL THE WAY back to the old wing. It was RAINING CATS and DOGS while waiting for Crystal's mum. Wait, wait, wait. "Ring!" her mum called her phone and said that they will be staying for dinner at One Utama which also means that I can't tumpang! So I had to grab a cab. I looked towards the queue...I'll be late and screwed. My tuition starts at 7.30 p.m. and it was already 6.45 p.m.. No choice, I went upstairs with Crystal to meet her mum and gang (rest of the family)! Went down again and the queue was longer! I almost wanted to die there. I was so tired! Since 'pastor' (he's not a pastor, my mum's other half but not my daddy) finishes work at 7.00 p.m., I called him and asked him to fetch me then I was delighted for a bit. About 15 minutes after I called him, the cab queue CLEARED!!! It FREAKIN' CLEARED!! I sighed and tried to ignore it. Took out my phone, played "Because You Live", sang to it. *staring out at the rain, with a heavy heart...* Then after a few other songs, "pastor" finally arrived (it was 7.31 p.m.). I counted the number if Perodua Viva that passed by til he came...it's 24! Hopped onto the car, late for tuition. I managed to reach at about 8.08 p.m.. Walked up a few steps, pressed the lift. OMG! THE ELEVATOR SPOILT! All the way up, 3rd floor... *sighs*

But at the end of the day, Ma (my godmother) (or fairy godmother, you can say!) and Mr. Shiva lighted it up! Ma sent something back from UK. THANKS, MA! She sent some mosquito repellent wipes that I will NEED durin my Leo Camp on this coming Monday and Tuesday. And Mr. Shiva gave me this guy's number so that there'll be discounts during my visit to Sunway Lagoon! YAY! Thanks Mr. Shiva!

P.S : Congrats to all the candidates of SPM of '08 who got their results today! Loves.
I'm feeling the pressure already.

...It's alright, I survived, I'm alive again
Cause of you, I made it through every storm...

Failure

2009-03-11T20:21:00.009+08:00

fail·ure n.

1. The condition or fact of not achieving the desired end or ends.

2. One that fails.

3. The condition or fact of being insufficient or falling short.

4. A cessation of proper functioning or performance.

5. Nonperformance of what is requested or expected; omission

6. The act or fact of failing to pass a course, test, or assignment.

7. A decline in strength or effectiveness.

8. The act or fact of becoming bankrupt or insolvent.

WHY DID THIS HAPPEN?
I prayed for it not to happen.
I worked fot it not to happen.
It happened just as told.
I feel like an idiot who is waiting for miracles that will never happen.
I feel so dumb, holding a pencil and know not what to write.
I feel so stupid when I saw it.
To top it all, I feel like a failure.
It's over and I can't do anything anymore.
It's over and I don't feel like doing anything anymore.
I need a rest from failure.
I need to accept that I just did fail...
I'm going crazy.
I'm going insane.
Someone help me, will you?

...I guess it's gonna break me down
Like falling when you try to fly...

Why didn't I just wake up?

2009-03-10T20:32:00.006+08:00

WHY DIDN'T I JUST WAKE UP?

Oh my goodness! I so overslept and screwed my Biology paper. I was studying Biology til about 1 a.m. this morning and I wanted to take a nap. So I noted to myself,

Abigail! You MUST wake up at 1.30 a.m. to study your Biology or you will fail. Do you want to fail, Abigail? Do you?

No, I don't want to!

So you gotta wake up at 1.30 a.m..

Okay, deal! 1.30 a.m. it is.

And yes, that was my internal monologue! Happily, after setting the alarm, I went sleeping nicely on my bed. Then at 1.30 a.m. I opened my eyes wondering why hasn't the alarm rang, I looked at my phone, "0546". I jumped out of bed. And immediately felt like dying.

Why didn't I hear the freaking alarm? Why? Why? Why?

Cause you were tired...isn't it obvious?

But tired doesn't give me the authority not to hear the alarm.

Then in the first place, you shouldn't have slept.

But I was tired. ):

Cut it out! I really regretted sleeping cause it was the FIRST TIME in my life:

I left out so many blank spaces in my exam paper.
I think I will fail my Mathematics.
I regretted sleeping!

It was such a bad day that I have to officially announce that I
REGRETTED SLEEPING!

...Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night...

Find It!

2009-03-09T20:04:00.012+08:00

Found it? The thing that's not suppose to be in the pic? Today, after choral speaking, went to eat brunch at this Dim Sum shop at DamansaraJaya. It's called Hong Kee Dim Sum with an orange coloured sign board. I was happily eating my Chee Cheong Fun till the last piece and I saw HAIR IN MY FOOD! I immediately stopped eating. Anyways, later on, we went to Atria which is near the place. And I tried on this "awesome stuff" dress which costs RM499. Mum said she'll get that for me when my sis gets married! So yeah...Jie, you read that? Haha. Get married faster and I'll have nephews and nieces! (and a new dress!) Wait...then I'll be auntie!! NO!!!! (family joke)

Yes, it looks weird in the picture.
I absolutely love this dress...there's flower prints and soft netting!
BUT! I think the price is way too much!
The owner of the shop says that it's from United Kingdom, that's why.

I watched Marley and Me yesterday. It's pretty good I shall say. It's sad when Marley....wait...I shouldn't be spoiling it. Overall, I think it's a good movie maybe not for guys but...more for girls.

Tried this on at Nichii, The Curve. Pretty nice.
But it's way to pricy! About RM250.

...I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough...

Just A Dream

2009-03-08T21:58:00.004+08:00

I've been listening to this song quite some time back and I'm still loving it!
It's kinda sad.
But I hope you like it!

It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen
All dressed in white
Going to the church that night
She had his box of letters in the passenger seat
Sixpence in her shoe, something borrowed, something blue
And when the church doors opened up wide
She put her veil down
Trying to hide the tears
Oh she just couldn't believe it
She heard the trumpets from the military band
And the flowers fell out of her hand

Baby why'd you leave me?
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream

The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray
Lord please lift his soul, and heal this hurt
Then the congregation all stood up and sang
The saddest song that she ever heard
Then they handed her a folded up flag
And she held on to all she had left of him
Oh, and what could have been
And then the guns rang one last shot
And it felt like a bullet in her heart

Baby, why'd you leave me?
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream.

..I was counting on forever..

Sometimes

2009-03-08T12:33:00.005+08:00

Sometimes when we all think back, it's the same person. alty
Sometimes when we all look back, it's the same thing. the end
Sometimes when love's here, we don't want it. his
Sometimes when we meet, it tends to be awkward. reunions
Sometimes when we cry, it's all the same reason. you
Sometimes when we see, we're blinded. by you
Sometimes when we search, all we find results the same. you
Sometimes when we sleep, it's all we dream about. you
Sometimes when someone is there, you never noticed.

I know that when we see the shooting star, we'll wish for the same. you

Now that I have lost, I finally found.
Some things can't be altered but can be cherished.
It wasn't her fault, why hurt her?

..some things a girl can never forget..

Holding On

2009-03-07T23:05:00.005+08:00

I knew there was an ending. But you disagreed.
So I held on and on.

You were the one who ended it.

the hardest part of holding on is letting go

..abby..